Nothing Like the First Time(11)

"You know what happened?"

"Yes, but only because he was moping round the house, drinking whiskey  the next night and confessed what happened. Look, I know he regrets ever  leaving you, do you think you could at least talk to him?"

"I …  yes …  no …  I don't know," I said as I stood up. "I'm sorry, I'll bring your desserts."

I walked away and placed their order. I stood at the bar and pondered  over what Maggie had said. She was his cousin, she was engaged to  someone else-Grey still loved me, I'd hurt him. He was moping around  missing me. What could I do to make things right?

Once their order was up, I took the plates to their table.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all that, Carly," Maggie said, sounding so sincere.

"It's okay, Maggie. You're only looking out for your cousin."

"I only want him to be happy. It's none of my business whether you two  work it out or not-though I do hope you do. I admit, when we first got  back to town and I saw you …  well, I wasn't impressed. I mean sure,  you're gorgeous, but you looked like you didn't want to give Grey the  time of day-then you went and proved me right by ignoring him. So yeah, I  was mad at you, even though I didn't know you and it was none of my  business. However, since Grey told me you two slept together, I thought  maybe you did still love him, and I'm no fool-I've seen the way you look  at him when you think no one is watching. Look, I'll just say this, he  loves you and wants to be with only you, and as his family, I want to  protect him-but I know deep down you love him like crazy, it's written  on your face as plain as day."

"Thank you for your honesty, Maggie. I'll leave you to your desserts.  Your bill is here," I said as I placed the folder with the bill on their  table, "and you can pay whenever you're ready to leave. I'll bring over  another round of drinks, on me."

I left before she could protest.

I asked Jason for another wine and another beer, then went back to the table.

Maggie and Ben came over to pay the bill and say goodnight a short while  later. As I watched them leave, I knew a decision had to be made on my  part. Did I love Grey? Of course I did. Did I want to be with him? Would  he even want me now after weeks of not hearing from me?         

     



 

I went home that night with more questions than answers. This led to a fitful night's sleep.

The following morning, I met Jodie at the gym-I needed to work some of this out in the form of demanding exercise.

"Good morning," Jodie said in her cheery tone. I needed some of her enthusiasm and good cheer this morning.

"Morning," I replied in what came out as a less happy voice than I had tried for.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" she asked as we entered the gym.

"It's a long story."

"We have time, it's our day off, remember?"

"Well, to cut a long story short, I royally fucked up."

Her gasp was audible. I hardly ever swear, so she knew something was wrong.

I cut to the chase and told her the story of the previous evening, what Maggie had told me and how it had left me feeling.

"Wow. Just FYI, you didn't fuck up. You didn't know. You might not have  asked him, but he never told you, either-in his defense though, he  probably didn't realize you needed to be told she was his cousin."

"He told me when we were younger that his cousin had gone to live in  England, but Maggie doesn't have an English accent. There are still gaps  in my knowledge-gaps that only Grey can fill. The question is, will he  hear me out? Will he think I deserve answers?"

"Well, from what Maggie said about him moping and from what you told me  about the letter, the teddy, the flowers and photos-I would hazard a  guess at a hell yes!"

Jodie turned off her treadmill and got off to grab her water bottle and towel, wiping sweat from her brow.

"Where are you going? Our session isn't over!"

"I'm outta here. I'm going home. You need to go to Grey," she said as  she retreated to the ladies' locker room. I followed after her but  didn't see her, she must've hit the showers. I waited for a few minutes  until I got a text from her telling me to get my ass moving.



Where are you?



I replied.



I'm getting in the car. I grabbed my stuff and left.



Trust her to just up and leave.



Oh thanks for letting me know!



I did, in the gym, I said ‘I'm going' and I left.



Trust you to be so literal about your words



I tapped out as I walked to my car. I got no reply and as I got to the car park, I saw why-her car was gone.

I got in my car and drove home. I needed to talk to Grey but would he want to know?

When I got home, I went to see if I had any messages on my answering  machine and finding I had none, I hit the shower. As the hot water  pelted me from the head of my gorgeous power shower, I mulled things  over in my head. I knew I would get nowhere without actually talking to  Grey, but did I have the courage to approach him?

I walked into my bedroom and sat at my vanity to dry my hair. I used the  flat irons to straighten it and then I applied a little makeup. I found  some warm clothes in the wardrobe and got dressed. Once I had done  that, I pulled on my sneakers and went downstairs. I grabbed my iPhone  and car keys from the sideboard. Realizing I had forgotten the most  important item, I went back upstairs and opened my wardrobe. There sat  the teddy, waiting for me to take him to Grey.

I got in the car and drove to the Sterlings' home. When I rang the doorbell, Katrina looked surprised but pleased to see me.

"Darling, do come in," she greeted.

"Is Grey home?" I asked as I entered the foyer of the beautiful house I had spent many happy hours in as a teen.

"I'm afraid not. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not really. Do you know where he is?"

"He's gone to visit his brother at the lake house."

The gorgeous house by the lake where we often spent weekends was where  his brother and his wife now lived and it was a 45 minute drive away. I  didn't want to turn up unannounced.

"Thanks, Katrina. I should get going. I'll just call him later."

"Oh, okay, darling. Are you sure you won't stay for a coffee? It feels so long since I last saw you."

"Sorry, I don't have time, I only popped by to see Grey on a whim," I said as I turned back to the front door.

"Okay, I do hope you'll come and visit again soon. Lizzie had such a lovely time when you came over."

"I'll be back, Katrina. Please give Lizzie my love. I'm sorry it's been  so long. I'll come by really soon-I promise," I said as I got into my  car.

Katrina smiled and waved at me from the front door. I drove off feeling  dejected. I guess I could have texted him before going over, who was I  to assume he wasn't busy and would be at home? But texting and calling  was so impersonal, and what I had to say could only be said when looking  into the beautiful eyes of the one man I had loved all my life.         

     



 

I pulled over at the park and sat with my head in my hands on the  steering wheel. I needed to take action but I really didn't want to turn  up unannounced at the lake house. I took my phone from the seat beside  me and typed a text to Grey.



Hi Grey, I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you in a while. Could you call me sometime maybe? Carls x



My phone rang straight away. I smiled a little as the photo of Grey flashed on the screen.

"Hi, Carls. What's up?" he sounded happy, was it because I'd broken the silence between us?

"Hi, Grey. Nothing's up, I just wondered if you were free sometime to get together and talk?"

"Sure. When were you thinking?" he asked in an even happier voice.

"Umm …  whenever you're not busy."

"I'm free now," he said.

"I've just been by your house and your mother said you were at the lake house with Tim and Naomi."

"You came by to see me?" Now he sounded surprised.

"I did."

"Well, you could always drive over here. Tim and Naomi won't mind." He  covered the microphone on the bottom of his phone and said something I  couldn't make out "Yeah, Tim and Naomi said its okay by them." I heard  him walking out of the room.

"Are you sure? I mean, you guys don't need me turning up out of the blue."

"Carls, honestly, it's fine by them and as for me, I'd love to see you.  I'd come home but I've had a beer with lunch and don't want to drive for  a while."

"Okay, I'm at the park, so I'll see you in just over half an hour."

"See you then, Carls."





Chapter Six





I arrived at the lake house and all was quiet outside. The sky looked  beautiful across the lake at this time of day. All I could hear was the  sound of crickets chirping somewhere and a bird singing. I was taken  back to the many summers I had spent here growing up with Grey. We had  stayed for days on end down here in this peaceful retreat. I could see  why Tim and Naomi had moved here. I closed my eyes and let the memories  play like a movie in my head.