When you were not here with me the days you were working, I wanted to be nearer to you, to hear your thoughts and understand your feelings. So I picked up the books you loved so much and read them. That’s when I knew that without a doubt you were the one for me, a woman of strong mind and of a great heart. Alexia, I know I screwed up. I know that you might never in this lifetime ever forgive me. That my time with you is over, that our world is destroyed, but I will never be able to let you go. I want to tell you about Olivia, but not through a letter, I want to see you, to see how you are, to feel your living breathing body next to mine. All I can ever say is sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry that I kept this from you. I just sorry. I love you,
Forever yours Lukas
The Set Up
His letter only opened up the wounds that had barely begun to heal. He was sorry and so was I. I was angry more at myself than at him, I had let him in, let him take over my life, my mother was right I was stupid.
I had no real food in the house so I begrudgingly decided I needed to go out. There was a market close by and I could pick up some food. The light of the sun hurt my now sensitive eyes, the world around me continued to thrive as I withered inside. I took a deep breath and continued on my way, the jeans I wore were nearly falling off as I walked. I chagrined knowing I did this to myself.
As I sat on my patio finishing my salad my phone rang, my throat closed up, my heart lurked, could it be Lukas? I walked over to the counter where I had left it after I came back home. It was Stella wondering if I could see her at the coffee house this afternoon. I texted that I wasn’t feeling up to it but she insisted I come. Fuck.
I had walked into the café to see her quietly yelling at my mother. My heart sunk even lower. I never knew the depths of this dark abyss could be so bottomless. I followed Stella’s gestures and saw a man sitting by the same table I sat with Lukas a few months ago. He smiled at me, instantly I knew my mother had set me up and Stella was somehow wrangled into it.
I accepted my fate and walked over to him, leaving both Stella and my mother arguing.
“Hi, I’m Alexia.” I managed to say. He smiled. He was good looking no doubt with strong features and dark brown eyes. I could tell he was tall and had a strong built.
“I’m Niko.” He extended his hand but I didn’t take it, I just sat down in front of him. “I’m sorry your mother probably didn’t tell you that I was here.” He continued to say. I nodded.
“No she didn’t.” He switched it to Greek and asked me if I wanted something to drink, I shook my head no. He spoke both languages perfectly.
“You’re not from here are you?” I asked remembering that I had asked Lukas that very question in this very spot.
He smiled “I was raised in Greece and was brought here when I was a teen. I’ve been going back and forth ever since.” He reached for his coffee and drank a sip. He put it down and eyed me carefully.
“You’re not happy about being set up?”
I let out a loud sigh. “No I not. As a matter of fact I hate it.”
He laughed “So do I.” I narrowed my eyes.
“So why come here?” I asked.
“I wanted to see the famed Alexia, the mouthy girl with a great strength in character.” He made me laugh.
“Look not all Greeks are typically the same.” He added.
“I know that, it’s just that I’d rather find someone that I want not my mother.” I said flatly. He leaned back into the chair.
“So why not give me a try? Your mother didn’t technically introduce us and I like what I see.” He said candidly.
I nearly threw up in my mouth. The bile burned in my throat. I was not in the right mind set for this.
“Had I not been in a bad place I would have maybe agreed but right now I can’t. I’m sorry.” He reached over and touched my hand, I instantly pulled away.
“I’ll wait till your storm passes. How does that sound? This way we can be just friends for now and I could be your sounding board.” He offered. I watched him intently, was he being serious? He was good looking that I couldn’t take from him. He was intelligent and I could actually hold a conversation with him but my heart was still branded with the name of Lukas all over it. There was no way any man could ever remove it.
“She has enough friends.” I heard a growl from behind me. His voice washed over me making my body shake. I could feel it almost coming back to life.
“I’m sorry but who are you?” He asked narrowing his eyes.
My mother hurried over “He is no one.” She turned to Lukas. “Can you not leave, don’t you see she is better off with our kind. He will understand her in ways you will never be able to, so just leave us.” She screamed.