Monster(40)

Eden expelled a breath. She was restless, anxious. Her mind had been in a whirlwind since he’d revealed his past to her, and it didn’t appear as though it was in anyway ready to stop. He’d remained in the car when they’d arrived and had quietly encouraged her to head in. Eden didn’t know whether he’d followed shortly after, but his broodiness had worried her. Still worried her. She’d hoped that he would not do anything rash. He’d all but exposed himself to her, an act that had undoubtedly left him feeling weak and vulnerable. Eden knew Dominic would not tolerate that in himself. Dominic thrived on control, the power he wielded over himself and others was what defined him, but he’d forfeited it all, lowered his impenetrable defenses for a time so she could see who he truly was, see the depth of emotions that he hid so carefully from the world.

A thought suddenly came to mind. What if he regretted telling her? Worst yet, what if he erected those walls again and shut her out completely this time? Springing out of bed, hasty footsteps took her to the double doors of his bedroom before her mind could even register the action. Without the slightest bit of hesitation, Eden raised her hand and knocked gently yet firmly. She blocked out all rational thought, refused to listen to the part of her that screamed out what a monumentally bad idea this was, and instead concentrated on what she would say to him. Adrenaline had her heart battering incessantly against her breastbone while she shifted anxiously in place. When nothing happened on the second or third knock, something akin to disappointment flooded through her veins. She was ready to turn and head back to her room, figuring she would check on Liam before attempting sleep, when something made her take hold of the gilt handle and pull down. The adjoining door that led to Liam’s room was open, and the soft glow of his nightlight was the only source of light filtering in to the master bedroom. After a cursory look around the bedroom revealed it empty, Eden ambled to the nursery.

She wasn’t a crier by any means, but what she saw brought instant tears to Eden’s eyes, especially in light of what she now knew. Reclining in the rocking chair by the solitary window, Liam lay on his father’s chest in slumber, one of his receiving blankets covering the lower half of his body as he dreamed of sweet things, knowing instinctively that he had his father there to protect him. It was such a beautiful sight that Eden was lured closer, until she stood at their side. Sleep softened the hard lines of Dominic’s strikingly handsome face. Unguarded as he was, he appeared almost serene, and she fought against the need to reach out and touch him. She wanted to erase the slight crease at his brow and trail her finger down the bridge of his nose, to his high cheekbones and sensual lips that were capable of devouring her with such unbridled voracity. Caught once more in the inescapable force of his gravitational pull, Eden drew closer only to gasp when his eyes peeled open and arrested her in their turbulent depths. For a very long moment there was nothing else but the dark green of his eyes and the intensity that suspended the air in her lungs. It was only when he raised his index to his lips in silent commission for her to keep quiet that she drew in breath and looked away. He came to his feet in one fluid motion, ever mindful of the child he held in his arms.

“He was awake when I came in,” he murmured, the gravelly resonance of his tone made it seem like it had been a long while since he’d spoken. Though he’d set Liam down a moment earlier, Dominic remained at the crib, his hand moving rhythmically across the apple of Liam’s cheek. In complete awe of this little boy who was so much a part of him and yet nothing at all like him. It terrified Dominic to even touch him this way, fear that he would somehow taint him, that his own demons would mar his child’s innocence made him reluctantly draw his hand back. “I wanted to spend time with him.”

“I know,” she said softly. Standing at his side, he felt her like the sun on his skin, her radiating brilliance showering him with warmth. Dominic wanted to submerge and bathe himself in that warmth. He stepped away from the crib, knowing that he would give into impulse if he did not. He put even more distance between them, leaving their son’s nursery and ambling back to the master bedroom. She followed him like he knew she would and idled in the space between the entrance of Liam’s nursery and their bedroom. He could tell that she was anxious about something, subtle signs that he could instantly pick off without even trying. Like the small crease between her brows or the way she absolutely refused to meet his gaze, and then there was the way she would intermittently slide her tongue across her bottom lip that he found incredibly arousing. Just as she was doing now.

To distract himself, he trailed an admiring glance along the contours of her diminutive form and instantly discovered how foolish it was when he found his gaze focused on the satin peach camisole dress she wore and how enticingly it outlined her breasts, stopping a few inches above mid-thigh, putting shapely caramel legs he wanted to slide between on display. Dominic cleared his throat as he felt himself hardening. He slipped his hands in his pockets to hide his growing erection.

“Are you alright?” In making the inquiry, Dominic headed to the sitting area and settled into one of the roll back chairs. Again, impulse gnawed at him to take her in his arms, but his restraint was stronger, but not by much.

“I…uh…yes, I’m alright. I actually came to see if you were okay.” She didn’t stand immediately in front of him, but he could see her from his peripheral “I mean I know you’re okay, but I just figured after everything…” Her words trailed off into the silence. He expected her to see the futility of her concern for him, see how wasted it was on such an undeserving man and continue on in her low opinion of him. But Eden was a tenacious little thing. A trait Dominic had come to admire in her. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Dominic tilted his dark imperious head and gave her a perverse smile. “I haven’t been okay for a very long time, Eden,” he said grimly. He wanted a drink, something strong that would lessen the constriction in his chest and allay the feeling of helplessness that he had not been able to shake since telling her of his past. He wanted to run back into that darkness that had consequently become his prison, friend, and master.

“I’m sorry for what you went through,” she said quietly, her voice a caress of compassion that felt so good and so bad in the same breath.

His mouth compressed into a hard line and his darkly handsome features tightened considerably, drawing his brow into a menacing frown. He could only imagine what he looked like. If his appearance was anything like the turmoil raging in him, then Dominic could only surmise that he looked every bit the monster she called him. “It’s fine,” he bit out, harsher than intended.

“No,” she knelt at his side; the tentative touch of her hand on his knee had Dominic looking down into her luminous citrine eyes that were beguiling. “It’s not fine. What your mother did to you was not okay, Dominic. It was cruel and evil and you have to know you didn’t deserve that sort of abuse. No child does,” she whispered emphatically, as if she understood his pain.

“I haven’t gone back there until tonight and a part of me hates that I brought you there,” he confided without rancor. “I should not have said anything to you.”

“Then why did you?”

“Because I break my own rules when it comes to you,” he returned pointedly. “Those memories were mine, and if had any pride, I would not have shared them with you.”

“Your pride hasn’t done us any good so far,” she said with a soft sigh. “You cling so tightly to something so ugly when it’s only hurting you. It’s a burden you weren’t meant to carry.”

“It is nevertheless my burden. My entire childhood was filled with nothing but ugliness. That is all I’ve known. It is who I am.”

“You are not your mother’s mistakes, Dominic,” Eden imparted gently. “I keep thinking about Liam and try to imagine—”

“No!” he spelled out with unequivocal authority. “He will never know such a life. You have given more to my son in the five months since he’s been born than that woman ever gave me in the eight years I spent with her.” His mouth twisted bitterly in recollection.

“Did you love her?”

He gave a sharp laugh. “I abandoned what little love I had left for her the moment she sold me. I abandoned a lot of things in that apartment.”

“Yourself included.”

His large hand cupped the side of her face with a tenderness that surprised them both, and while he waited with bated breath to see if she would pull away, she remained as she was and simply looked back at him expectantly. “I’ve hurt you,” he conceded. “Tell me how to fix it.”

Eden licked her lips. “Apologize.”

He leaned forward until his breath was her own and said with every bit of sincerity and fervor that lay in him, “There are no words that can convey how sorry I am for what I put you through, Eden. What I did to you is unforgivable. I make no excuses for my actions except to tell you that they were done in fear and weakness. I have made so many mistakes in the last five years in regards to this marriage, but there is nothing I regret more than failing you as a husband.”