“Jayne?” He sounded concerned.
“Um, yes. It’s me. Hello.” She cleared her throat again.
“Did I wake you?”
“No.”
“Can I come over?” His deep voice was soft and gave no clue to his emotions.
“Y–Yes.”
“I’ll be there in three minutes.” He ended the call, and the phone rattled against the bathroom counter as she laid it down. She clasped her hands together to stop them from trembling.
“Oh, God. He read it.” Her voice shook uncontrollably. Adrenaline coursed in her bloodstream, giving her the urge to run away.
No. You’re a grown woman with normal urges. Remember what Grace and Charity told you. There’s nothing wrong with writing erotic stories. You’re not a pervert. You’re a virgin, for crying out loud!
After hurriedly brushing her teeth, she checked her reflection in the mirror and went into the living room taking slow, deep breaths. Her heart lurched at the unmistakable sound of his motorcycle pulling into her driveway.
Steeling herself, she opened the door, not even waiting for him to ring the bell. She heard the muted thud of his footsteps as he approached.
Please don’t hurt my feelings. Please don’t laugh or look at me with disgust. Please…
His black boots came into her field of vision, and fear of the judgment she might see in his gaze made it nearly impossible to raise her eyes to his.
Don’t be a ninny. This was the risk you took, having your notebook out at lunch. Pull your big-girl panties up and take it like a woman.
Seth stood there on the doorstep, her book in his hand. Her fingertips twitched, and she nearly reached out to grab it and run. Seconds passed, seeming like hours, and her tension grew in astronomical proportions. Finally, he held the book out to her, and his hold on it seemed gentle as he took a step closer. Her hands were shaking hard enough for him to notice as she received it from him. She cleared her throat again, cursing the growing lump there, as she finally lifted her eyes. His stoic face was so hard to read.
Clutching the book to her chest like a lifeline, she whispered, “Thank you.”
She waited for his opinion. His judgment. A car drove past her house, its stereo playing loudly as they stood there, for what felt like an eternity, and she was relieved when he finally spoke.
“May I come in?”
That wasn’t what she’d expected him to say. She backed away and gripped the edge of the door for support. “Of course.” Stars sparkled in the outer field of her vision, and she realized she was holding her breath.
A case of the vapors? Really?
His eyebrows furrowed as he reached out to steady her. “I think you should sit down, Jayne. Here, let me help.”
Her numb fingers slipped from the door, and he caught her as her knees buckled.
Oh, you ninny! Nice going, Scarlett O’Hara!
He walked her to her recliner and helped her sit, still clutching the book to her chest. “I’m sorry. I—”
He squatted in front of her and gripped her knees gently. She took a deep, slow breath, and the sparkles faded. “Jayne, I’m the one who’s sorry. I’ve been in Morehead most of the day. All my messages finally dumped into my voice mail as I got home. I just listened to them a few minutes ago. You must’ve been frantic.”
“You didn’t…read it?” Hope soared until he bit his lip and lowered his eyes for a second. He lifted his gaze to hers again.
“I sorted through the books I checked out today before I listened to my messages. I found it and at first I didn’t know who it belonged to, so I leafed through it and…”
“Oh.” She focused on the warm hands resting on her knees. She prepared for his good-bye. “What did you read?”
Seth let out a slow breath and tilted her chin. “Look at me.” She complied. “I read one of your stories, and the journal entry on the first page. I—”
Say it first. “Hated it?”
His slight smile took her by surprise. He cleared his throat, and she saw the trace of a dimple in his left cheek which quickly vanished. “No. Not at all. I liked this one as a matter of fact.” He tugged on the ribbon marker and opened it to the one she’d begun on the day she’d met him.
Oh, Lord in heaven, take me now.
He’d read the one with him in the leading role. Maybe he didn’t notice.
“Is that really how you see me? As a hero?”
Oh, hell. There goes that hope. You might as well go for it. You may crash and burn, but at least you won’t have any regrets.
“I know you’re only human. A man.” All man. Stay focused, ninny. “Yes, that’s how I see you. I heard about how you helped when Lily’s ex-husband kidnapped her. Protecting other people. Looking out for others.”