Okay. Maybe this was neither the time nor the place to read her romance novel. Once she'd closed it, she placed it back in her purse. Frustration filled her. Reading was her escape. It always had been. When she'd started college, a friend of hers had recommended Erica Jong's Fear of Flying. That had been her first romance novel, but it had not been her last.
When she was lonely, sad, or stressed, books were there for her. Becca had always had a very vivid imagination, and if she was reading a good book, it was like the places described and the people in them became real to her. She lost herself in the words on the pages completely. But ever since her feelings had changed for Brian, every time she tried to lose herself in a story, she'd just end up casting herself as the heroine and Brian as the hero. Every. Single. Time.
She couldn't read. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't concentrate. She couldn't tell her best friend what was going on.
Something had to give.
Chapter Four
"So, you took a year off of school?"
"Yeah," Brian said, looking directly into the camera. When he'd first started going out on auditions, it had felt strange not to look at the person who was asking you the questions, but now he was pretty used to it. "It was supposed to be a semester, but it turned into a year."
"And you plan on returning to NYU this fall?" the casting director asked as she scanned the paperwork Brian had filled out.
"That's the plan." Brian tried to sound as confident as he possibly could in that statement. He knew that being desperate or showing that he really wanted to book this was the fastest way to not get cast. Casting directors could smell that on people. From his brief experience in the industry, he'd learned that, more often than not, you booked things that you didn't care about landing. Which, logically, made sense. Why would someone want to cast you if you seemed insecure and not confident?
Just like in romantic situations, confidence was a turn-on and insecurity was a turn-off.
"Why did you take a year off?" the CD, who'd introduced herself as Mary, asked.
Brian knew that this question was, most likely, going to come up and he hadn't been looking forward to it. He hated that people felt sorry for him after he explained the situation, and he didn't want to seem like he was playing the sympathy card. But it was what it was, and Brian (except for the situation with Becca) was a ‘what you see is what you get' guy.
"Last summer, my dad had triple bypass surgery, so I came home to help my mom, my little sister, and my dad."
"I'm sorry to hear that. How is he doing now?"
"Better." Brian felt relief wash over him-just like it did every time he thought about how much better his dad was doing. "He's had a few setbacks, but he is getting stronger every day. He's back on his feet now. He just has to take it easy."
"That's great. So do you just have the one sister?"
"Yep." He wasn't trying to be intentionally vague, but he couldn't help it. He was very protective of his family. He was prepared to answer questions about himself, but he just didn't feel comfortable bringing his family into this.
"Do you have any brothers?" Mary asked as she scribbled notes on his paperwork.
Brian knew they were just going to keep asking questions until they were satisfied, so he figured he might as well just get it over with. He leaned back in his chair.
"One brother, Brenden. He just finished his freshman year at the University of North Carolina. He's there on a baseball scholarship. Brittney, my sister, just graduated from high school and will be going to Harvard this fall."
"Wow. Impressive." The girl who had called him in and was holding a clipboard nodded as she lifted the top page he'd filled out and flipped it over. "It says here that your parents own an automotive repair shop. Do they both still work there?"
"They haven't for the last year. My cousin Josh and I have been holding things down there."
"What are your parents like?" Mary asked.
Brian hadn't been expecting that question. He wasn't sure why the subject seemed to be focused solely on his family.
When he didn't answer right away Mary prompted, "What is the first word that pops into your head when you think of your dad?"
"Hard-working." The words (plural) came out of Brian's mouth before he realized. "Wait. That's two words."
Mary smiled. "No, that's fine. What about your mom?"
"Brave."
It was obvious by Mary's reaction that that had not been the word she had expected him to use. But it was true. His mom was the bravest person he knew. When she'd been diagnosed with a life-threatening tumor that doctors had found on her spine ten years ago, she'd undergone surgery that could have left her permanently paralyzed from the neck down. Thankfully, that hadn't happened.
She had ended up wheelchair-bound due to nerve damage, but she could still move and feel her legs. It was just difficult for her to put weight on them. Brian would never forget sitting beside her bed before they wheeled her into surgery. He'd been so scared. He had just started high school and was fourteen years old at the time, and he'd been terrified that his mom would end up paralyzed. Or worse-that she'd die.
His mom had reached out and held his hand. Then she smiled at him-a real smile that reached all the way to her eyes-and said, "Don't you worry about me, Bri. I'm not leaving you, your brother, or your sister. I'm not saying things won't be tough, but I promise you, I'm tougher and I'm not going anywhere."
As an adult, of course he knew that his mom had had no way of knowing that things would go her way during the high-risk surgery. But when he was a scared-shitless teenager, her words had definitely had the desired effect. He'd gone out to the waiting room feeling less terrified. Becca had been waiting there, with his brother and sister, and they'd all played Gin Rummy for the entire eight hours it had taken before the surgeon came out and gave his dad the good news. His mom had pulled through and she hadn't been paralyzed from the neck down.
His dad had, immediately, taken his sister and brother to see her in recovery, which had been the deal he'd made with them since Brian had gotten to see her before the surgery. Brian would never forget that he'd turned to Becca, who was smiling up at him with tears brimming in her eyes, pulled her into his arms, and held her while tears fell down his cheeks. To this day, he had no idea how long he'd stood in the waiting room of Harper's Crossing Community Hospital holding his best friend, his lifeline, but if he closed his eyes, he could still feel her silky hair against his damp cheek. Still hear her soft words of encouragement as she whispered against his neck and rubbed her hands up and down his back.
Mary cleared her throat as she slipped her red-rimmed glasses up on the top of her head and set the clipboard that held Brian's information down on her lap. Her green eyes looked at him in an assessing stare. It might make some people uncomfortable to be seated in a small room with a bright, white light shining on you while a camera recorded your every move, and a complete stranger looked you up and down, her entire job being to judge you. But this part of auditioning had never bothered Brian. Luckily, he'd always been comfortable in his own skin.
Although, right now, he really hoped that she was not proficient at mind reading.
"So, Brian, do you believe in true love?" Mary's tone revealed that she was skeptical about how he would respond.
"I do," Brian answered immediately. Even before he'd realized that he was in love with Becca, he believed in the power of love, the existence of soul mates. He'd always been a romantic at heart.
"Have you ever been in love?" Mary asked skeptically.
"Yes." Becca's face popped in Brian's mind and he tried to push it out.
"How long has your longest romantic relationship been?" Mary sounded intrigued, which, as far as his chances for getting cast were, was a good sign.
"My last girlfriend, Skylar, and I were together a little over a year."
"And why did it end?"
"I moved home to help out with my dad."
When he'd originally told Skylar that he'd be taking a semester off, she wanted to try the long-distance thing-which they had-but by Thanksgiving, it was over. Brian had broken things off when he'd begun forgetting to call her, and when she'd call, he would fight the temptation to ignore it. She'd been upset and even said that she'd come to Illinois so that they could talk about it face to face, but Brian had known that it was over.
What he still didn't know was if it was really just that he hadn't cared as much for Skylar as he'd thought or if it was the Becca factor. He suspected it was the latter.