My eyes drop to her heels. All the moms are wearing heels even though they’re digging slightly into the dirt. I don’t know how they don’t fall down on their asses. I tossed my pumps into my bag and I’m walking bare foot. As I come up next to them their lips turn down in a frown. Zero fucks given.
“I had an errand to run. How are our boys doing?” I give her the same fake smile she’s giving me before turning to face the field.
“They really need to step up their defense. How is Marshal ever going to score when the defense is this poor?”
They’re three years old for fuck’s sake. I don’t even try to hide my eye roll; not that she would see anyway since she’s now texting away on her phone.
I spot Jax running after a boy who’s kicking the ball. I pray to God he doesn’t just push the kid over and pick up the ball with his hands. Rick and I decided it would be good to get him in sports early. One sport, one language, one instrument. But for fuck’s sake he’s only three. I am glad I got him into sports to work off some of that excess energy, but these people drive me up the damn wall. I didn’t come from Daddy’s money. I worked hard to get my restaurant up and running. I put everything I had in me into this industry. It took 10 years to get to this point and at 31 I’m the proud owner of an award winning Italian Bistro.
Jax kicks the ball, thankfully misses the kid, and runs down the field. “Go Jax!” I can’t help screaming and hopping up and down on the balls of my feet. My voice gets the attention of the other moms. I see them smirk and look at each other from the corner of my eye, but I learned to ignore it early on. Mommy play groups are cut throat in this social group. I know they talk shit about me. That they defended Rick cheating on me because I work too much and didn’t make enough one on one time for the two of us. But they’d be fucking stupid to say the shit to my face.
The thought of Rick hits me hard. My chest hurts and my heart twists in agony. He may have been an asshole of a husband who was going to try to get every cent from me that he could, and try to take my baby away from me, but he was also the father of my baby boy. I smile weakly watching Jax in his little black and blue striped jersey. Number 3 because that was Daddy’s number. Tears well in my eyes and my throat closes as a bastard lump forms. I shake my head and try to think about happy times.
My eyes pop open wide and my thighs clench. Thoughts of the bookie rutting into me like he fucking owned me makes my heart race and my blood heat. The image of his corded muscles pinning me to the wall, the masculine smell in the hot air, the sounds of him fucking me, they flood my senses. I shift my weight and try to cool down, feeling much hotter than I did a moment ago. I am extremely aware of the fact that I am no longer wearing any panties. I was in such a fucking rush to get out of there, I left them wherever they fell to. My forehead pinches as I try to recollect what happened to them.
A shudder runs through my body. He ripped them off of me. That was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever done. But with him? With a stranger? A criminal? I don’t even fucking know his name. Shame washes over me and that damn lump returns. I never lusted after a man. Never. School and work that’s what mattered. I married a nice man when I finally had life all worked out. Had a baby at 27. I did everything the way my parents would have wanted. My blood turns to ice and I look down at my feet wondering if they’d be ashamed of me now. Now that my husband left me and I’ve fallen to a new level of filth I’d never thought I’d reach.
For fuck’s sake, I let him cum in me. I cringe but my treacherous pussy clenches. I have to repress a moan remembering how good it felt. My lips purse as I pull out my phone and text Sarah. She’s out getting dinner for Jax and me so I can be here to watch his game.
Plan B ASAP please.
I never thought I’d be texting my PA to pick up the morning after pill. But hell, in the last few months we’ve grown close. I imagine we’re as close as sisters would be, but I wouldn’t know. I haven’t had any family since my parents passed a few years ago. Just after I found out I was pregnant. Tears well in my eyes. I was picking out a cute little mug for my mom to tell her. It was going to have the ultrasound on it. I wipe my burning eyes and try to return my focus to my little man on the field, but all I can see in my head is a picture of that damn mug. Grandmom in April. She would’ve been so happy. I told everyone we were trying. The moment we got married, I wanted to be pregnant. In hind sight I should not have done that. Cause then everyone asks you, “are you pregnant yet?” It took a little longer than I’d hoped. But stress will do that. And when you work the hours I used to work, well, it’s fucking stressful. That’s why I got Sarah. That’s why I cut back and hired more help. It was the best thing for me and then for my little man too.