Den of Sorrows (The Grey Wolves #9)(41)

She was quiet for several heartbeats. Finally, she broke the silence and his heart. She started to let go of his hand but he held on. He wasn't ready to let her go.
"I just need a little space," she told him. She tugged her hand again and this time he released her.
Drake’s wolf snarled inside of him and he struggled to keep from vocalizing their hurt over their mate dismissing them. He was trying to get the wolf to understand that, though she was theirs and, yes, she was Canis lupus, she did not understand their ways. She'd been lost for eleven years and though she'd been found, all he did was take her and put her in a new kind of lost.
He gave her a curt nod and took a step back away from the bars. He continued to watch her, taking in every motion and facial expression.
She simply stared back at him. The unshed tears he saw in her eyes were like a knife being stabbed into his heart and slowly twisted. He didn't want her to hurt but there was nothing he could do. She wouldn't let him help. And it was killing him. 
He squeezed his eyes closed and tried to push away the image of seeing his mate cowering in a dirty cell, brutalized, and afraid. The only part of the memory that kept him from losing it was the brave determination he had seen in her eyes and her clenched jaw that said she was ready to fight. His mate was a survivor. She'd survived eleven years with the oldest vampire in existence; she would survive this as well. This time she didn't have to do it alone. She had him, if she'd only let him be there for her.
Bethany closed her eyes as memories rushed over her. So many years in the hands of Sincaro— so many bites, so many bruises, and hate filled words. Up until that point she'd been holding it together, but memories of the abuse she’d endured filled her with pain. The pain caused something to break inside of her, and it triggered the floodgates that had been holding the tide of her emotions. Her eyes became living waterfalls as tears poured out of them, coursing down her face. A sob broke free and she pressed her hands over her mouth as she tried to keep herself from shattering into a thousand pieces. Bethany's shoulders shook as eleven years’ worth of anguish came rolling out of her in a tidal wave.
She thought she heard Drake’s voice but she couldn't be sure and she couldn't look at him, not when she was losing it. She wasn't even completely sure why she was crying. It was all just too much. Vampires kidnapping her, feeding off of her, throwing her in a maze with those monsters, werewolves rescuing her, biting her, suddenly being ripped from the world she'd known for so long, and being handed choices that she could make on her own. She couldn't even decide if she was hungry or not. How the hell was she supposed to decide what her future was going to be or where it was going to be? How on earth was she going to survive?
She slid down the wall to the floor and onto her knees. Her body leaned forward of its own accord until her forehead was pressed to the cold, hard concrete. She pressed it down, hoping that maybe if she pushed hard enough she would just sink into the floor and it would swallow her, along with all of her problems. Her stomach clenched tightly inside of her and it felt as though it was trying to climb up her throat. Her breath came in ragged gasps as she gave into the despair and let it devour her.
Bethany had wanted to be free of the vampires and the hell they'd put her through. She'd wanted to be free and now she was. And she didn't have a damn clue how to survive, how to live. Her hand slammed down on the hard floor sending pain up her palm into her arm but she ignored it. She slammed it again and screamed, "YOU DID THIS TO ME. YOU CRIPPLED ME. YOU DID THIS." Her yells died down until she was muttering over and over again, "You did this, you did this to me, you did this."
Death would have been better than being a lost child in a woman’s body.
"You did this," she said one last time, her voice hoarse from her screams. It was when she finally quieted and raised her eyes that she realized the cage across from her was shaking and creaking as the huge man inside of it hit it repeatedly with his shoulder. His face was hard as stone and his eyes narrowed with determination. If he kept this up he was going to hurt himself.
"Drake," she said sitting up and wiping her tears away. "Drake, stop. You're going to hurt your shoulder." Bethany crawled over to the cage and sat leaning against it. He stopped as soon as she was within touching distance. He was on his knees just on the other side of the bars from her. Their shoulders were touching and the heat from his body was strangely comforting.
"Are you okay?" she asked him quietly, hoping that she could calm the beast she'd obviously stirred up with her outburst.
He chuckled but there was no humor in the sound. "You are the one who has endured hell and you're asking me if I'm okay?""I'm sorry," Bethany whispered.
She felt his hand cup her cheek and apply gentle pressure so she would look at him. "You do not owe me an apology, A Mea. You don't owe me anything."
"Why were you trying to break the cage?"
"My need to comfort you and my wolf’s need to shelter our mate is strong. To see you hurting like that, it was more than I could stand. You aren't alone. Never again. I will always be here. And if you let me, I'll bear your burdens when they become too much."
She felt something brush her mind and warmth flooded her. "What was that?"
His eyes held her as he spoke. "That is me reassuring you that you aren't alone. All you have to do is reach out to me through the bond."
Bethany tentatively attempted to do just that. She thought of Drake, about his passionate words and gentle touch. When she pushed out with her own emotions she heard him sigh and felt his warm breath on her face. She'd sent him her gratitude. He'd rescued her and been tender and patient. He'd repeatedly told her that he wouldn't leave her, that she wouldn't be alone anymore. She needed him to know how much it meant to her. Regardless of the fact that she was a mess, she did appreciate him.
"What now?" she asked still staring up into his face.
"For now, we'll just rest. Peri will return and let me out of this cage and then if you will allow it, I would really like to hold you."
Bethany felt a strange tightening sensation in her lower abdomen as she imagined what it would be like to be in his strong arms. She imagined that she must have been held by her father once in a caring way, but she couldn’t remember it now. She only knew the touch of violence. Bethany was pretty sure that when Drake held her she just might not ever want to leave the shelter of his arms.
Chapter 17
"Betrayal's a bitch. That's all I got." ~Peri
"Do you think she's going to be okay?" Sally asked Jacque and Jen as they stood by the cell where Bethany had been held captive only a few moments ago.
The males were just a tad ticked off with them over their latest stunt and refused to let the girls accompany them on their search of the vampire stronghold. So there they were stuck worrying and wondering.
"Better question," Jen said as she tapped her thigh with the tip of the sword Decebel had left with her, which drove Sally crazy and she was sure that's the only reason she did it. "Will we be okay once our mate's aren't distracted by a huge hoard of child stealing, dormant enslaving, bloodsuckers and can fully appreciate the fact that we totally had Peri bind them." She paused, no doubt for effect. "Again." 
Jacque blew out a breath through her parted lips causing them to vibrate, making a motor sound, and then sighed. "It's really hit or miss with their reactions."
"True," Jen agreed. "They really are indecisive in their responses to our indiscretions. Some consistency would be much appreciated."
Sally laughed. "How 'bout you tell them that, Jen?"
Jen snorted. "Please, I'd rather stick my finger in a light socket repeatedly than deal with those hardheaded flea balls."
"Speaking of flea balls," Sally said. "Either of yours got the bond open?"
"Nope," Jacque answered.
"Locked tight," Jen chimed.
"Something isn't right," Sally said, unable to keep the worry from her voice. Something bad was going to happen. She didn't know how she knew, but she just knew.
"They'll be fine, gypsy lady," Jen reassured. "Our boys are beasts. I mean that literally and figuratively."
"Yeah, we got that," Jacque said dryly.
Sally leaned back against the stone wall. There were two doors to the dungeon, one to the left of her and one to the right. She was staring at the one to the right, which was the direction their mates had departed earlier. Her gut was rolling with fear and it was growing worse by the second. Something was coming. She didn’t want to worry Costin any more than he already was so she was keeping a wall up in her mind. Finally, after several more minutes of frustrating silence and blood pulsing worry, she pushed away from the wall.
"That's it. I'm not just going to sit down here and worry and wonder and fret."
"Worry and fret are pretty much the same thing," Jen interrupted.
"Not. The. Point," Sally ground out. "Vampires are attacking the people we care about. There might be more dormants somewhere in this hell maze. Drake has gone off the deep end. And I for one am not just going to sit on my thumb and spin."
Jen whistled. "I don’t know what Peri fairy is feeding you gypsies these days, but it must have 'grow a pair' fertilizer in it because you, Sally dear, are totally packing some cajones."