Degradation(60)
I prattled off some very well known Alphas from the literary world, and we noticed that a lot of these gentlemen had very distinct, usually unique, usually long, first names, and then very short, concise last names. I don't wanna name names, but for example, Christopher Prey, kinda encapsulates what we had noticed.
"So what name would you pick?" I was asked. I'm not sure where it came from, I work around liquor, so maybe Jameson just leapt out at me – thus, Jameson Kane was born. Fits the above formula to a T.
We kinda laughed about it, and I didn't think about it much, till the same friend one day went "what would Jameson's story be?" And I kinda joked that every Alpha needs that spunky, sassy, female lead, who should also have a funky name, usually kinda androgynous. Hello, Tatum! I laughed that she would be sexy and crazy, he would be dark and sensual, they would compliment each other, and complete each other.
The story exploded after that, just came together like it had been sitting in my brain, completely written, waiting to be noticed. I wrote it in a frenzy. Couldn't sleep, didn't eat much, barely left the computer. It just would not stop, it demanded to be released. I put other stories on hold to let it out. So thanks have to go to my close friends for letting me joke about romance novels with them.
I have never written a story like this – the language, the sex, the aggression, it all kinda scared me. I am not very much like either Jameson or Tatum in real life. But it just felt natural. I found myself getting nervous and changing sentences, rearranging scenes, and then I came upon this awesome meme that read - "Write in a Way That Scares You a Little".
Well, the scariest thing to me is the idea of someone reading my work and going "ew, that's weird!", so I decided FUCK IT. I'm gonna write it EXACTLY how it comes out of my brain, EXACTLY how it comes out of Jameson's mouth, and if people don't like it, then they don't have to read it. It was the best decision I have ever made, writing this story was such a catharsis, such a joy. It sounds cheesy, but it's the truth. So thanks internet!
And a special thanks to all the authors out there writing dark, taboo, misunderstood stories. It is my firm belief that if it exists in the world, then it should be written about, regardless of "subject matter". As Real Sex on HBO taught me (does that show my age!?), if someone can be in to something, then there is an audience for it! So read what you want, write what's in you to write, and fuck anyone who gives you crap about it. I can't imagine a bigger waste of time than criticizing someone's work just because it scares me.
And to my beta readers – I really lucked out with some excellent ones! They are from all over, the U.S. to the U.K., and I have never met any of them in real life, but they were wonderful throughout this whole process. Your feedback and constructive criticism were all appreciated beyond words. Thank you all so much. Some of these lovely ladies are: Cassie Fite – thanks for taking a chance on a "dark read", I honestly didn't know it was dark when I wrote it! Erin Winer – my bestie convinced you to read it, and thanks for doing so. Viveca Benoir, another indie author I found along the way, your help was amazing, you introduced me to my cover designer, and told me about Draft 2 Digital. Everyone, check her out at: http://vivecabenoir.com
Special shout-out to author L.A. Cotton – we met via a beta reading forum. She was looking for a beta reader, and was willing to trade (that's right! You never know who is beta reading for you – I keep hoping I'll submit a book to a beta reader and it'll be like CJ Roberts or something ..., seriously, I love you CJ Roberts, if you have secretly read my work, please tell me! Just let me love you!).
So Mrs. Cotton and I swapped stories. She is from the U.K., I'm from the U.S., and we had two very different stories, and two very different writing styles. Her book was softer, new adult, all romance and slow burn and "will they? won't they?" goodness. I worried that my book wasn't exactly up her alley, seeing as how Erotica and New Adult Romance are pretty far apart on the spectrum, but her feedback and advice were invaluable, her turn around time fast. She has continued to support me and promote me, and I can only hope to adequately return the favor some day. Thanks for all your help!
Too many blogs to name. From the beginning – for both of us! - Watz Teasers and Trailers was BEYOND supportive. Thank you to Cover To Cover Book Blog, Triple B's Badass Book Boyfriends, Intellectual Vixens, Through the Booking Glass, Fallen for Books, Trina and Taylor's Bedtime Stories – all willing to take a chance on a new indie author, and most of you holding her hand along the way.
To Najla Qamber, www.najlaqamberdesigns.com, the wonderful woman who designed my book cover. To be honest, I pretty much fan-girled every time you e-mailed me. I ran around for days going "do you see this!?!? All the cool book covers that I already love!?!? That chick is doing MY cover!" There was a huge time difference between us, and I'm pretty sure I sent you like three e-mails for every one you sent me, but you were so easy to work with, you got my vision and concept right away, and did an amazing job. Thank you so much.
Of course there are a million other people. Thanks to my husband, for being very understanding about me working 8 hours a day, then coming home and sitting behind a computer for another 6+ hours. Thanks to all my friends – none of you are in to romance novels, but some of you offered to read it anyway, and all of you listened to me blabber on about it endlessly. Thanks to my real life job, for tolerating my daydreaming, sneaking in to dark corners to read, and stretching my lunches well past their time limits so I could write more. Thanks to everyone who has already read it, is going to read it, or plans to eventually read it.
But mostly, thanks to anyone who has read this far and plans on continuing to the included chapter from Separation, part two to Jameson and Tatum's story, and an excerpt from a new series, Pen vs. Sword. It's all at the end, I promise!
Soundtrack
Songs that I listened to while writing, songs that just made me think of the story, and a couple that inspired actual scenes.
Up in the Air – 30 Seconds to Mars
Tainted Love – Marilyn Manson
Only – Nine Inch Nails
Stay High (Habits Remix) – Tove Lo ft. Hippie Sabotage
Closer – Nine Inch Nails
Pursuit of Happiness – KiD CuDi
Maneater – Nelly Furtado
Dangerous – Ying Yang Twins ft. Wyclef Jean
Bad Romance – 30 Seconds to Mars
Devils Don't Fly – Natalia Kills
Some Like it Hot – Neon Hitch – theme song for the whole book
99 Problems – Hugo – Jameson's "theme" song
Problem – Natalia Kills – Tate's "theme" song
Pu$$y – Iggy Azalea – the kitchen scene where Jameson describes his LA trip
Wrecking Ball – Miley Cyrus – everything from the final party till the end
Bruises – Sugarcult – Ending Song
To Be Released
COMING 09/22/14
SEPARATION:
The Sequel to Degradation
A pounding noise brought Jameson out of unconsciousness. Just blackness. He squinted and stared up at the ceiling. Where the fuck was he? It took him a second to realize he was in his library. It started to come back to him. He had passed out on the leather sofa in the library. He couldn't remember the last time he had even used the sofa, let alone slept on it. Then he remembered that a little over a month ago, he had put the sofa to a very good use.
Tatum.
He groaned and sat up. There was more banging and he pressed a hand to his head. He couldn't remember how much he'd had to drink. It had been a lot. A glance at his liquor cabinet showed that it was wide open, and completely empty. There was more pounding.
"Sanders!" Jameson yelled, rubbing his face. There was no answer and he lifted his eyes to the ceiling. "Sanders! Get the goddamn door!"
Silence, followed by bang bang bang.
He growled and stood up, started marching across the room. There was a crunching sound and something sliced through his heel. He hissed and lifted his foot. A chunk of glass was imbedded in his heel. He yanked it out and glared at it. Then he looked down, and lost his glare.
Glass was everywhere. No, not glass. Crystal. Broken crystal, scattered all over the ground. A wide swath of floor, from the liquor cabinet to the wall across from it, was coated in broken tumblers and bottles and decanters. It all came back to Jameson. He had broken every piece of glassware in the room, after Sanders had left.