“I hope so.”
She glanced down his body. “I could make you forget what just happened.”
“You could distract me for a short time but I won’t ever forget.”
She peered into his eyes. “You’re too hard on yourself.”
He kept quiet, not willing to tell her it was deserved.
“You are,” she insisted. “I don’t know much about your background because you don’t speak of it but I realize it was harsher than most of us endured. Do you want to talk? I won’t repeat anything you say. You should have someone to open up to. It’s an important part of the healing process.”
“Some wounds are just too deep,” he rasped.
“It doesn’t help when you won’t even try.” She stepped closer. “Let me soothe you. I’m offering friendship and comfort.”
“I appreciate that but sex isn’t the way.”
Her chin lifted. “Fine. We don’t need to share sex but you should talk to me.”
“What do you want to know?” Anger stirred but he buried it. Her intentions were good. He accepted and trusted that. “I was trained to kill and the violence you witnessed was just the beginning of what I was taught. It made me cold inside. I refuse to allow anyone to get too close.”
“You know the problem then. Change. We’re free now to make anything possible if we want it.”
“I don’t want to depend on others or care overly much about anything. I enjoy being numb.”
“You care about Species.”
“I do but there’s a line I won’t cross.” He pointed to the tile on the floor between them. “There it is. I need to shower and get back on duty. I appreciate your offer but I decline. Don’t take it personally. It isn’t.”
“Am I not to your liking? Everyone has a preference. Do the Gifts appeal to you? Perhaps one of the primates? You were around humans a lot. They are smaller and softer than most Species females. I could speak to some of them to find out if any are interested in sharing sex.”
“It’s not a matter of size or strength, Bluebird. It’s any woman.”
Her eyes widened. “You prefer males?” She swallowed hard. “I don’t know any who are sexually attracted to other ones. We could see if any of the human employees are though.”
“Goddamn.” He ran his fingers through his hair, forgetting that they were bloody. He needed to get it cut. It almost touched his shoulders, longer than he liked, and was just another reminder of a past he wanted distance from. “That’s not it either. You’re the second person to ask me that. I am attracted to females. It’s just that…”
“What? Finish what you were going to say. I won’t judge.”
He dropped his hand to his side and sighed. “I don’t ever want to feel that much again and females are a weakness. I trusted the wrong one once and people I cared about paid the price. Something inside me died and I’m not grieving its loss. I like being solitary and in control. I am free and that’s my choice.”
She accepted it with a nod. “Don’t you ever feel lonely though? Long to hold someone or be touched?”
“No. That’s just a reminder of the past. The only time I’m completely at ease is when I’m alone.”She stared at him. “I’m so sorry for whatever was done to you, Darkness. Just know we care about you and if you ever change your mind, all you have to do is reach out. We’ll be there.”
“Thank you. It means a lot.”
She turned away but paused at the door to glance over her shoulder at him. “No one would blame you if you ended your shift early and went home. That was intense for everyone.”
“I’m different,” he reminded her. “Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be back in uniform.”
“You’re stubborn.” She smiled though. “You hold my respect.”
He watched her leave and then stripped off the rest of his clothes. The last thing he wanted was to go home and listen to the silence. He’d relive every moment inside that interrogation room. Boris was a real son of a bitch who deserved everything he’d done but the fact that he’d enjoyed inflicting pain on that piece of shit didn’t sit well with him.
He scrubbed his skin and washed his hair. It only took him ten minutes to dress and return to Security. He glanced around but no one seemed surprised or uncomfortable upon his arrival. Bluebird was the only one who smiled from her seat in front of a bank of monitors that provided live feeds around Homeland.
“What’s going on?”
“Not much,” Flame answered. “We just allowed two trucks inside to deliver food supplies. Justice finished one meeting with a reporter doing a story on us and he’s got another one coming in about fifteen minutes.”
“Poor bastard,” Darkness muttered.
Flame nodded in sympathy. “I’m glad I’m not the one who has to answer all their questions. The task force left to assemble at their headquarters. Do you want to know what we have so far?” He pointed to two males at the far end of the room with their attention fixed on their computers. “They are tracing all information they can gather about the name Boris gave up.”
He didn’t want to be involved. He’d obtained the Gift’s location. It wasn’t his job to go after her. He liked to remain within NSO lands. “What else is going on?”
“Not much.” Flame held a portable electronic device, scrolling as he read. “Oh. The new instructor is due to arrive soon.”
“What instructor?” He frowned.
“A forensic one.” Excitement laced Flame’s voice. “Tiger hired someone to come in to teach us all about police procedures for gathering evidence. It will be fun.”
Darkness arched an eyebrow. “Fun?”
“Don’t you watch those shows on television? We’ll be solving crimes before you know it. I’m looking forward to learning how to take fingerprints.”
“What crimes? This is Homeland. It’s the outside world we need to worry about and the task force handles them.”
Some of the joy faded from Flame’s features. “Tiger asked what we’d like to learn and we voted on a forensic science instructor.”
Regret stabbed at Darkness. He hadn’t meant to deflate the other male’s good mood. “I don’t watch much television but I’m certain it’s very interesting if it earned the majority vote. I’ll be sure to stop in to check it out. I might learn something new and I’m sure we’ll find the skills useful.”
Flame smiled. “It’s fascinating.”
“I’ll take your word for it. Where is this instructor going to stay? Are the human accommodations already prepared? A background check run?”
“It was last minute but I’m sure we’re on top of it.”
“Double-check.”
“Okay.” Flame hurried away.
The door opened and Breeze entered. She grinned as she approached him. “Good job, badass. I heard you broke that son of a bitch and made him squeal like the pig he is.” She stopped, lifting one palm above her head.
He eyed it, frowning.
“High five. Put it right here.”
He refused to slap her palm with his.
“Kill-sport,” she muttered, dropping her arm. “Reporting for duty. I know I’m an hour early but I was bored. Anything happening?”
“Typical stuff. Deliveries, reporters and some new instructor.”
“Awesome.” She grinned. “The forensics one? I can’t wait. I made a list of questions I want to ask, starting with why it takes so long to get toxicology results after an autopsy. Did you know it can take weeks?”
“I didn’t.”
“Is he here yet? I might as well pick his brain.”
“He’s due at any time.”
“Great. I’ll suit up and work the gate.” She walked a few feet away before turning, a smile on her face. “I hate wearing the helmet but I don’t want the humans falling in love with me. They couldn’t handle all this.” She winked before disappearing into one of the rooms.
The corners of his mouth lifted but he resisted laughing outright. Breeze always amused, saying outrageous things. She put everyone at ease—a rare gift. His was instilling fear in others. Those grim observations darkened his disposition as he crossed the room, watching the monitors.
“It’s a calm day for the protestors,” Bluebird announced.
“Good.”
The door opened again and Trey Roberts entered. The human task force team leader glanced around, finally met his stare and approached. Darkness tensed.
“I was looking for you.”
“Did the human die from his injuries?”
Trey shook his head. “Pricks like that don’t die easily. I’m here to work with the guys looking for more intel on our target. Tim wanted someone to relay the info while he’s putting together a plan of attack with the rest of the teams.”
“They are working on that over there. Make yourself at home. You know where the fridge and coffee machine are located.”
“You New Species have me addicted to caffeine.”
“Is that a complaint?”
“Hell no. Just an observation. I’ll go be useful and get out of your hair. Great job in there. Tim might not have said it but I will.”
Darkness watched the human join the two males at the computers before he spun around and went to the room where they kept their gear. He put on a bulletproof vest, grabbed a helmet and headed outside.