Darker Side of Desire & the Sheikh's Pregnant Prisoner(26)

‘Only with myself,’ he told her in a voice tight with pain. ‘I was judging you by my own standards, Claire, and I find it humiliating to see how ignoble they are compared with yours. Of course Teddy must come out to see you, he has been anxious about you. You haven’t replied to his letters.’

‘I forgot,’ Claire agreed, gnawing her lip gently, thinking how wonderful it would be to see her brother—and how impossible. Surely Raoul could see that?

‘I’d love to see him,’ she admitted, ‘but we, I… we can’t, Raoul. He’s not naïve. He’s bound to realise that… that…’

‘We aren’t in love?’ Raoul supplied for her. ‘I think you are worrying far too much. Children tend to accept things very much at face value. Once he knows that we are sharing a bedroom as do other married couples, I doubt he will give the matter another thought.’

‘But we aren’t,’ Claire protested, ‘I mean we don’t share a room.

‘No, but for the duration of his stay we shall do so. He can have my room and I shall share yours. No more protests, please, I assure you I shall not take advantage of the opportunities such intimacy will afford me. You are quite safe, Claire, you may accept my word on that.’

‘And Saud?’ Claire pressed. ‘What…?’

‘Leave that to me. I shall explain to him that Saud had been orphaned and that as I am his legal guardian he will be brought up by us. In fact, I have been thinking…’he glanced at her and smiled mockingly. ‘Poor Claire, you have far too soft a heart, how are you going to deny the claims of your three “children” when the time comes to leave me and make your own life?’

‘Three? But…’ Her heart started to thud erratically, her hand going protectively to her stomach. Surely he didn’t know?

‘But we do not know yet that you have conceived my child?’ Raoul taunted. ‘Ah, Claire, I am hoping that you have.’ He saw her thunderstruck, disbelieving expression and laughed. ‘I want to keep you with me, Claire, and I will use every means I can to do so. You already love Saud, you can’t deny it, and I have been thinking that even when it is safe to reveal his true identity he could have no safer or more secure home than one presided over by you. And your brother. He is how old? Twelve? He will need your care for many years yet, and not merely financially. And lastly there are our children, Claire. If you give them one tenth of the love you shower on Saud, they will indeed be fortunate…’

‘I am surprised you want me as the mother of your children,’ Claire said bitterly. ‘You were betrothed to Nadia’

‘Who is of a different religion, and a world away from the warmly maternal creature that is you, Claire. Nadia leaves her sons to be brought up by others. I suffered from that myself and have always sworn that I would not allow a child of mine to be torn in the way that I was. That is why…’ He broke off, and said instead, ‘My uncle, the Sheikh, will approve. He has liked you from the start.’

‘And because of that, and two children, you expect our marriage to continue? You don’t even…’

‘Even what?’ he taunted. ‘Want you? You know that is a lie, Claire. My body finds a pleasure in yours that heats my blood just to think of it, and you are not, I think, indifferent to me. It need not be a bad life. You will be financially secure always, you will have the love of your children, and the…’

‘Desire of my husband?’ Claire demanded bitterly. ‘At least until he tires of me and turns back to his mistress. Oh, you need not deny it, Nadia told me that you were still lovers…’

‘You are overwrought, and now is not the time for us to argue. Think about what I have said, Claire.’

‘But are you sure you want it?’ she murmured, almost beneath her breath. ‘I thought you loathed me and that you couldn’t wait for me to leave.’

He bent his head, his breath fanning her temple. ‘If that were the case, would I have sought to ensure that you remain with me?’ His hand pressed against her stomach as he brushed his mouth across her surprised lips, making his meaning quite clear. ‘The first time I must admit I did not think of the possible consequences until it was too late. But the second…’ He smiled teasingly, stunning her with the amusement she read in his eyes. ‘Ah, the second time, I must confess that I hoped your womb might be receptive to my seed and that there might grow in it the child who would keep you here at my side.’

Later, alone in her room, Claire found herself dwelling on what he had said. There had been no mention of love, and her heart ached over that, but it was tempting to think he might be right when he said they could build a life together—Saud and their own children growing up, perhaps some tenuous emotion growing inside him for her once she was the mother of his sons… And wasn’t it too late anyway to make any conscious choice? She was already carrying his child and she sensed that once he knew that he would never let her go. In his way he was to be admired, because he wasn’t just denying her love, he was denying it to himself as well, and she sensed that, while Nadia would always hold his heart, as his wife he would accord her respect and outward support. But did she have the strength to settle for that? Did she have any choice?

* * *

After that the day slid lazily into one another, and although nothing more was said Claire knew she had made her decision, and that Raoul was aware of it. She still hadn’t told him she thought she was carrying his child. They were due to collect Teddy from the airport at the end of the week and Claire intended to ask Raoul if it was possible for her to see a doctor at the same time.

He had not been able to discover who was responsible for the snake in Saud’s cot, but no other attempts had been made to injure the little boy, and Claire was beginning to wonder if it had been merely an unfortunate incident after all.

The day before Teddy’s flight was due, Raoul walked into her room unannounced, frowning heavily. ‘I have to go away for a few days. It can’t be helped, unfortunately,’ he told her. ‘There’s been an uprising in one of the remote villages on the border. Someone’s been stirring up political problems, casting religious doubts on the new education plans and I have to go and see if it can’t be sorted out.’

‘Is it… is it the same poeple who tried to kill Saud?’ Claire asked dry-mouthed, suddenly filled with dread.

‘Possibly,’ Raoul was cautious, deliberately casual, but Claire wasn’t deceived, he was going into danger. She could so easily lose him!

‘Raoul, you will be careful, won’t you?’ she begged, watching his frown deepen slightly as though he couldn’t understand why she should be so concerned. Careful, she warned herself, another minute and he might guess the truth. If there was to be any dignity in the life she would share with him her love for him was something he must never suspect.

‘I think I’m having your baby…’ she told him huskily, knowing with deep feminine intuition that this was her strongest weapon, her greatest chance of keeping him safe. For his child’s sake he would take fewer risks, think more carefully. ‘I was going to ask you if I could visit the doctor when we go to collect Teddy. It’s early days yet, but… but I’m nearly sure.’ She couldn’t stop herself from blushing as he looked at her and then came towards her, sitting on her bed, pulling her down on to his lap.

‘So my prayer was answered,’ he said softly. She was wearing a soft cotton dress that buttoned down the front and before she could stop him he was deftly unfastening the buttons. His palm felt warm against the bare skin of her stomach, still ridiculously flat. But the evidence was there in the fuller curves of her breasts as he unfastened her bra and exposed them to his warm gaze, his thumb gently probing her peaking nipple. ‘My child.’ There was something almost reverent in the way he breathed the words touching her breasts with tender lips; a curious fluttering stirred in her stomach as he pushed her back on the bed, his head lying gently against her stomach, his face turned into the warm skin. ‘My child.’ He said it again, his breath soft against her body, the tender way in which he kissed her bringing an aching lump to her throat and weak tears to her eyes.

He couldn’t have been more adoring if he had actually loved her, and for the first time she realised how important his child was to him. She had glimpsed it with Saud, in the tender affection he had for the little boy, and she was overwhelmed by a feeling of humility, a great surge of love that compelled her to put her arms round him, cradling him against her body, feeling the awe and the vigorous sense of achievement in him because his body had proved itself so potently virile.

‘You must take care when I am gone,’ he murmured, slowly releasing her. ‘I shall take you to see a doctor when I get back. And I shall come back, Claire,’ he assured her. ‘My child will not be brought up without its father or its mother. They will all be our children,’ he added, as though he had looked into her mind and seen what she was thinking. ‘Teddy, Saud and this…’ he dropped a brief, hard kiss against her stomach, ‘and this as yet unknown, growing within the protection of your body. We shall love and succour them all.’