Crash (Billionaire New Adult Romance)(19)

"What are you talking about?"

His fingers weaved through my hair and pulled slightly. "And when I'm  with someone, I want them to be thinking of me and only me."

I was lost.

"You're not over your ex yet. I like you, Natalie. I like you more than  you probably realize, but I want a real chance with you."

Something hot shot up my legs when he said that. I looked at his  heavy-lidded eyes, his slightly flushed, hollow cheeks and the downy  black hair and I couldn't understand why the hell he thought I pined  over Ben while I was in bed with him.

"That's a really sweet thing to say."

His smile widened. "I know. Now, kiss me."

I sank to my elbows and grabbed his hair, kissing him harder than I'd  kissed anyone in my life. His mouth was soft against mine, barely able  to keep up. I played with his ears, running my fingers over them lightly  because I knew that it would drive him crazy. He suddenly got up on his  elbows and flipped me onto my back. Will groaned as he sat back,  admiring the view of my body. His erection dug into my hip and I felt a  leap of excitement.         

     



 

Looking disgusted with himself, Will got off my legs and turned away from me.

"Okay," I said to his back. "We can wait if you want."

He turned around, his eyebrows lifted. "Okay?" He sounded disappointed.

I leaned over and pecked his mouth, trying not to smile at his floored  expression. "Good night." Smirking, I turned around in the bed. I could  feel his confusion, but I knew what I was doing. I wanted him chasing me  again-I wanted his hands running up my hips when we were out in public.

"Tease."

The bed bounced as he left the bed to go to the bathroom. I smiled to myself.





Chapter 7



So how is he? Is he behaving?

Sort of. I'm having the time of my life! How's Luke?

Her next text was a bit troubling: Not so good. Can't tell you on text.

I frowned to myself and glanced at Will, who was passed out on the train  we were taking to Monterosso al Mare, Italy. His cat slept on his lap.

She must be referring to the lawsuit with Will's father. I chewed my lip, feeling bad for Luke, but what could I do about it?

I told Will about the lawsuit and he is going to see his father in Chicago.

She texted back quickly: Really? Wow.

William reacted with anger and disappointment towards his father  whenever I mentioned the lawsuit. He might not be a friend to Luke, but  he did not approve of his father's actions. I could tell that he was  itching to go back to Chicago.

I returned to the sketch on my tablet. Over the last week, I sent dozens  of designs to the marketing department and the feedback so far was  overwhelmingly positive. Though, who knew if any of them would be  actually used? I had a vague understanding of where we were going, only  that it was on the Italian Riviera. Occasionally, the train would leave a  tunnel and I would catch a glimpse of a deep, blue ocean crashing on a  green coast, and my heart soared.

We left the damp isles of the UK and took a plane to Èze, France, a  gorgeous, coastal town with breathtaking views. Will had assured me that  the next stop would be even more spectacular: Cinque Terre. It meant  "five lands."

It didn't even really matter whether this job amounted to anything. I  was having an incredible time with Will exploring all these places.  Throughout the week, Will had been able to keep his hands to himself.  There was still the occasional, hot make-out session, but nothing more.  It was really frustrating.

Will twitched and moaned in his sleep. Recognizing the signs, I leaned  forward and shook his shoulder hard. His eyes shot open and he nodded,  thanking me.

I wanted to ask him about it, but every time I did he shut down. My mind  flooded with doubts about continuing this-whatever this was between us.  There was a deep sadness within him that I just couldn't reach and I  felt myself drifting further away from him.

"Wow," I said when we disembarked the train.

‘Wow' was the only appropriate response I could think of. A small, white  beach gleamed under the bright sunshine, sparkling, deep blue water  crashing on the shore. Behind the train station was the tiny cliff-side  village of Monterosso. Pastel-colored, cramped buildings sat on top of  each other. Vineyards filled the green hills, spiraling around and  around. We walked along the beach with our luggage and the sounds of  accordion music lifted me up.

"This is incredible."

Will blinked in the sunlight and smiled at me. "I told you."

We walked through the tunnel into the heart of the town. According to a  placard in front of it, the tunnel was erected after a disastrous flood  in 2010. My suitcase rolled and bumped on the cobblestones. Ahead of me,  the stone path lifted and snared around the hill, which would lead to  the next village, but Will and I turned left to find our bed and  breakfast. There were markets and restaurants, tourists lifting heavy  cameras from their necks to document every spectacular angle. My eyes  moved restlessly from detail to detail. There were just a thousand  things to look at and my brain couldn't process them fast enough.

The street became steep and my legs strained, until finally there was a  sign, "Villa Steno." Lemon trees surrounded the cheery, yellow building  and we rolled into the tiny lobby.

"We're excited to have you here, Mr. Pardini." The receptionist handed  him the keys to our room and she showed us the way, with only the  slightest hesitation at the cat sitting on top of Luke's luggage.

"Breakfast is from seven to nine, we also serve drinks in the lobby  after seven. There's a terrace on the roof where people like to have  drinks. Here's your room."

The sunshine-yellow room had a double bed. She walked across to open the  patio doors and we received a magnificent view of the town and ocean.         

     



 

"Here are trail maps for hiking. If there's anything else you need, please don't hesitate to ask."

Will nodded at her, looking pleased with the arrangements. There was a  safe in the closet, a desk, several chairs, but for me the greatest  thing was the patio, which overlooked the tiny village and the sea. Tom  jumped out of his cage the moment he was freed and dashed outside to  perch on the patio wall. The door closed softly and finally Will and I  were alone.

"What do you think?"

He slid up behind me and curled his arm around my waist. After seven  days of rainy, cloudy British skies, the sunshine pouring over my face  was a welcome reprieve. I turned into Will's arms and nestled my head  under his chin.

"I love it." I played with the fingers wrapped around my waist and felt  his chest swell and exhale a long breath. "It's amazing."

I watched Tom bathe himself on the wall, his fur gleaming in the sun.  Surrounding the patio were dozens of lemon trees and brightly colored  homes, which faced the rolling ocean.

My body relaxed in Will's arms, but at the same time my heart was galloping forward. "This is nice."

A deep sound of assent rumbled through his chest. "Yeah, it's beautiful here."

"No, I meant being held like this."

I turned around in his arms and looked up at his face, which stared down  at me with unhidden longing. I lifted myself on my toes and kissed him  softly, with a hint of my tongue sweeping inside to make him long for  more.

His breath shuddered when I pulled back sharply, his fingers kneading my  back. The battle raged behind his eyes. "Natalie, I want you, but-"

"But nothing. I want you, too. So why can't we?"

His eyes blazed and then they clouded, as if he had been dealt a serious blow. "I don't deserve you."

I was worried by the expression on his face-he looked really low. Even  his voice sounded as if he'd lost all of its energy. "Why not?"

"I'm a terrible person and I don't deserve to suck down the same oxygen as everyone else."

Everything slammed to a screeching halt and I looked at the broken man standing in front of me.

"Jesus, Will! Have you been taking your medication?" I slipped from his  arms and charged towards the bed, where his bag sat. I rifled through it  and found two empty prescription bottles. A hollow feeling swallowed me  as I held them in my hands.

"I dumped them in the toilet," he admitted, crossing his arms.

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"Because I was numb-I couldn't feel anything. Grief, remorse,  guilt-they're all normal, human emotions and I can't just take a pill to  shut everything out. I have to deal with it."

Not again, I thought desperately. Images of Jessica lying in a pool of  her own blood from her slashed wrists burned in my mind. "But suicide,  Will-"

"I don't want to kill myself," he said sharply. "I just sometimes wish that I were dead. Don't you?"

I shook my head violently. "No! Will, that is beyond fucked up. You need  to forgive yourself and allow yourself to feel better. Making one  mistake doesn't mean that you deserve to be tortured forever."