Claiming Kara:Fate Harbor 3(39)

"Are you saying we weren't nice?" Quinn asked in an offended tone.

Kara pulled her hand out from under Quinn's. "I'm not saying that at  all. You are two of the nicest men I've ever met. You remind me of my  fathers. Jim isn't that nice, but he was close, or I thought he was,"  Kara said dejectedly.

"Kara?" Ben prompted.

"Oh, yeah." She looked up at both of them. "There just wasn't any  chemistry, I guess. I tried. There was on his part. I don't get that.  How could he feel passionate if I didn't? That didn't make sense to me.  So, that's what I meant. Logically, I wanted to want him. But  physically, I didn't want him. I was hoping I would, eventually. I was  planning on sleeping with him, anyway. I had to sleep with somebody,"  she explained reasonably, somewhat surprised by their stunned  expressions.

"What? Didn't that make sense? I thought it all out." She turned to Ben  and handed him her empty glass. "Can I have a little more of this? I  really like these. I've never had one of these before. What are they  called, a Colorado Bulldog? I want the recipe. I'm sure that Karen will  like these after she stops breastfeeding. I really like them, because  they hardly have any alcohol in them." She watched as Ben got up slowly  to go over to the bar and make up another drink for her. But his big  body was in the way, so she couldn't get a good view of what all went  into the drink.

"Kara, why did you have to sleep with somebody?" Ben asked softly as he put the drink in front of her.

Kara picked up the glass and took a sip. "Ben, this tastes even better  than the one before, almost like a coffee and chocolate milkshake!" Ben  stood beside her as she continued to sip her new treat, and he stroked  the hair down the back of her head. "Sweetheart, why did you have to  sleep with Jim?"

Kara looked up into Ben's soulful brown eyes and told him the truth. "I  was lonely. I wanted babies and a family. He was the best man I could  find after you and Quinn sent me away, so I had to figure out a way to  learn to want him, to learn to love him. I knew that if I really  practiced, if I really tried, I would figure out how to do it." She  realized her voice sounded sad, but she just couldn't help it. She was  sad when she thought about sleeping with Jim, and she had been sad when  Ben and Quinn had sent her away. Now she was sad having to tell them  about how pathetic her life was. She figured she might as well finish  it.

"You know that I broke up with Jim." She appreciated that they didn't  say anything, they just nodded solemnly. "He didn't approve of my  parents. I deliberately talked to him at the time about it before he  ever met them. He said it wasn't a problem. He said … he said … " She looked  down at the milky brown liquid in her glass.         

     



 

"What, Kara, what did he say?" Quinn asked.

"He said live and let live. He said he would love them, because they  were my parents. Then he couldn't wait to get away from them. He even  suggested that after we were married that we wouldn't have to see them  very often. But that wasn't the worst." Kara felt the tears coming and  wished she could stop them, but she couldn't. God, she hated crying. "He  said it was morally wrong and icky. How could somebody I thought was so  nice say that about my mom and dads? How could I have been so wrong?  How come I'm always so wrong about everyone I trust?"



* * * *



Quinn couldn't handle it a minute longer. "Ben, what did you put in that last drink?"

"Milk, coffee, cola and chocolate syrup," Ben quickly replied.

"Sweetheart, can you look at me for a moment?" Quinn waited until she  was totally focused on him, and he winced at the two tear tracks that he  saw marring her beautiful skin. "You were right to trust us." He  watched as she shook her head wildly, white-gold hair flying everywhere.  He lunged for her drink, quickly handing it off to Ben.

"No! No, I wasn't." Quinn carefully caught both of her hands, and placed  them under one of his on the dinette table. Then he reached up and  brushed the hair out of her face so that she could see him.

"Yes, baby, you were. It might have felt like we were giving you up, but  in our hearts we never did. We always planned to come back for you, to  make a life with you. So, you can trust that your instincts were spot on  when you trusted us. Now, were we-" Quinn paused and grimaced. "Was I  smart about how I went about this? Fuck no. I was the world's biggest  dumbass."

"Good try, Quinn." He watched Kara box her arms on the table and rest  her head on them. She appeared to be looking at Ben and him from the  side, her eyes getting droopy. "I thought that, at first. I believed you  were trying to protect me. If it had just been you, that explanation  would have worked. But it wasn't just you, was it?" Her eyes cut to Ben.  Quinn looked over at his brother, and he watched as Ben looked ready to  throw up. "Ben went along with it, and he knew that I wasn't like your  mama, that I wanted to be with you no matter how dangerous your job was.  But he agreed to send me away, too." Her last words were said quietly,  as her eyes closed.

"Kara?"

"She's asleep, brother." Quinn looked at her again and saw the deep even  breaths, and realized Ben was right. She'd fallen asleep. Their plan  had worked. They'd gotten information from her, but at what emotional  cost?

"Why don't you take her to the bedroom?" Quinn offered. He wanted to be  the one to carry her, but after those last words, he knew that Ben  needed to have the intimacy. Jesus, what a mess he had made of  everything.



* * * *



Kara climbed up to the deck of the boat and found both Quinn and Ben  unpacking new fishing gear. She was thankful that it was a normal  overcast day so the sun wouldn't hurt her eyes.

"I'm guessing those had a bit more of a kick than I thought."

"Vodka," Quinn said succinctly. "We were trying to get you drunk," he said as he continued to unpack a box.

"Yeah, I figured that out when I was brushing my teeth this morning. I appreciated you having a bag of my stuff waiting for me."

"Yeah, we're real nice that way," Quinn said in a disgusted voice. He  stopped unpacking and came over to where she was standing. "How are you  feeling? We really only gave you three drinks, but we knew you don't  normally drink."

"I have a bit of headache. I raided your medicine chest and took a  couple of aspirin. I hope you don't mind." Quinn guided her over to the  padded the bench on the side of the boat and motioned with his head for  Ben to join them.

"Of course we don't mind if you took some aspirin. Whatever we have is  yours. Do you know why I wanted-and by the way, it was my idea, not  Ben's," Quinn clarified. "Why I wanted to get you drunk?"

"You wanted to find out what had happened with Jim."

"That was definitely part of it," Quinn agreed, "but I wanted to find  out where we really stood with you. I wanted to find out just how big of  a hole I had managed to dig for Ben and me."

"It's pretty big," Kara said, letting her long hair slide over her face  so she didn't have to look at him. Quinn didn't let her get away with  it. He immediately reached out and pulled it back from her face, and  handed the mass to Ben who was seated behind her. Ben easily tied the  length into a loop so that it would remain in place out of her eyes.         

     



 

"It's pretty big, but I'm thinking it's not insurmountable. I think we  have to start all over again. We have to prove to you that we're the  kind of men who won't leave, who you can depend on to be there, even  when life throws us curveballs." Kara still refused to look him in the  eye, but she could tell by his body language that Quinn was frustrated.  She stared at the point beneath his chin for a while before finally  answering him.

"It's not so much life throwing you curveballs. I know that you can  handle anything. You've proved again and again how capable you are.  Where I don't trust you is that you won't let me stand beside you. That  you'll put me behind you on some misguided notion that you're protecting  me, and we will end up with an unequal relationship. That would never  work." Quinn couldn't believe the level of relief he was feeling. The  fact that Kara was even explaining how she thought a relationship should  work in the future meant that the possibility of a future relationship  existed. She might not realize it, but he did. Thank the Creator! He  peered over her shoulder and, noting the wide grin on Ben's face, saw  that he had realized the same thing. Ben contained his grin and turned  her around to face him.

Quinn watched as Ben pulled Kara into his arms, and then he stood up  with her and picked her up, taking her over to one of the large angler's  chairs that were used for fishermen to fish off the back of the boat.  Quinn followed and sat on the chair beside them. He watched as Kara  eventually began to relax into Ben's hold and settle into his lap.