Claiming Her SEAL(27)

Oh, God. Her throat tightened, and all the things she'd tried to push  away flooded through her chest, enlarging her heart. It was everything  she'd sought but hadn't achieved because he had it all wrong-she was  only strong because of him. Not on her own. Somehow she'd grown  dependent on him after all. He'd been her light from the first.

That wasn't what she'd wanted. At all.

"Yeah, okay. Great," she offered lamely because that was all her quaking  insides would allow her to get out. "That's awesome. Thanks."

"Goes both ways," he said with a gentle smile. "The thanks. Come with me  to Ilhota Rosa, Emma. I want to show it to you, just me and you and the  ocean. Nothing but pink sand between us until the moment you have to  leave. It will be the perfect way to end your vacation fling, I  promise."

Yes. It was right there on the tip of her tongue, and she ached to voice  it. One very last time with Dex, with his light and his smile and the  way his mouth set her on fire.         

     



 

But she couldn't. That was the real test here, whether she was strong  enough to resist him. Whether she could walk away. Whether she could  make good on what she'd tried-and failed-to do yesterday: avoid Dex.

"Oh, that sounds lovely, but Rachel wanted to do some …  stuff together on  our last day. We have to leave for the airport super early, so this is  it," she lied brightly.

Rachel had said no such thing, and considering she hadn't even seen the  woman since yesterday, it would have been difficult indeed to express  last-day plans. Plus, Rachel would probably encourage Emma to have that  one last time, never realizing she was pushing Emma toward the brink of  destruction, not healing.

He blinked, and his beautiful lips turned down. "Yeah, okay. I guess the  invitation was pretty last minute. This is your vacation. You should  spend it doing what you want."

She wanted Dex, that was the problem. "You're so great for understanding, really."

She hated it. Hated that he so willingly gave up a second of their time  together, never mind that she'd been the one to reject the idea.

"Maybe you could do your thing with Rachel and hang out with me later?" he suggested offhandedly, like it was cool either way.

"You know, it's probably better to say good-bye now. No point in dragging it out, right?"

I'd rather end things now than later when it will be so much more  complicated to sort things out. When she'd said it to Chris, she'd meant  the legal aspects of being married. With Dex, she truly didn't think  her soul could take it if he kissed her again.

"I guess."

So, no argument from Dex. He'd said it was the end of their fling, plain  as day. Obviously it didn't matter to him whether it was today or  tomorrow.

Didn't he care that she was standing here bleeding from the effort to  push him away? Didn't he feel even a fraction of the pain? Her heart  felt like she was polishing it with broken glass. Obviously he'd fully  embraced the idea of a fling. He'd even said he was the kind of guy who  didn't call the next day. This was basically the same thing-it was over.

"Thanks for the memories," she said inanely.

"Yeah, same goes."

And that's when she realized the water did have some kind of magic,  after all. Because when she skirted him to splash through the surf  toward the shore, the only explanation for how she found the will to  leave Dex behind must lie somewhere in the depths of the ocean.




Dex watched Emma walk away. Something sharp tore through his chest, and it stole his breath for a moment.

It was fine, he assured himself. Emma deserved better than he could ever  give her, and Ilhota Rosa was a bad idea. He had a feeling if he'd  actually taken her there, he might have refused to return her to the  resort. Like, ever.

Because he didn't really want to let her go. His selfishness knew no  bounds. She deserved marriage and a white picket fence and all the  trappings of a normal, suburban life that a man like him could never  give her. He was never going back to the States, would never be happy  with a minivan and a role as a Cub Scout den leader.

Years of brutal discipline came in handy as Dex struggled to stay away  from the resort the rest of the day. Evan didn't make one single comment  when he returned from the reef to find Dex watching TV in the bungalow,  even though he'd been present when Charlie took one look at Dex's face  and ordered him to take the day off.

Jace had so very helpfully filled everyone in on what Dex might spend his day doing-Emma.

"I'm fine, by the way," Dex snarled at Evan's retreating back. Which was  a ridiculous thing to say. It wasn't like Evan cared that Dex had a big  heavy weight on his chest that wouldn't go away no matter what he did.  "You can go on pretending you didn't notice that I'm spending my day off  alone."

Dex sounded like a surly ass, even to himself. He should probably get  out of the house before he ripped something apart with his bare hands.

Evan froze at the entrance to the hall, where he'd presumably been on  his way to take a shower. A reasonable thing to want to do after  spending six hours in a wetsuit.

But he didn't turn around. "I noticed."

Dex scrubbed at his face. "Sorry. I'm not fit to be around civilized people. That's not your fault."

"Good thing I'm not civilized."

A joke from Evan Silva. Would wonders never cease? "You want to go to Abaco and eat? I could use a …  distraction."

He'd almost said a friend. But it was unnecessary. Evan was his friend  no matter what, and there wasn't a point in questioning that just  because Dex was having a minor breakdown that he couldn't even  articulate to himself, let alone to a recluse who'd turned being a loner  into an art form.         

     



 

At that, Evan backed up and came back into the tiny living area, his  mouth set in a hard line. His dark hair was still damp, and Dex felt  like a jerk for opening his mouth when it was clear all Evan wanted to  do was unwind after a long day of working for Jared Anderson.

"What happened with Emma?" Evan asked. His gaze lit on Dex unflinchingly, and it was full of compassion.

That nearly undid him. Evan was supposed to be pissed that his roommate  was such a pansy who then turned around and took out his frustration on  innocent bystanders. Dex's throat tightened and it was a crapshoot on  whether he'd be able to get the actual words out of his mouth. "She's  leaving."

Guess that counted as words, though it wouldn't surprise him if Evan  hadn't heard the hoarse croak. Besides, this was officially the longest  conversation they'd had in …  forever. It wasn't like they had a lot of  practice at listening to each other.

"Yeah." Evan nodded and leaned against the end of the couch as if he had  every intention of hanging out with Dex, instead of disentangling  himself from the conversation as fast as humanly possible. Like normal.  "That's what women do."

As Evan had experienced firsthand. His ex, Carrie, had taken off with  their young daughter while Evan was in Iraq during their last tour. As  far as Dex knew, Evan hadn't found them yet, but he'd just as likely  stopped looking since Carrie had made it clear she didn't want their  daughter around her alcoholic father.

Evan had been sober for a year, which Carrie probably didn't know because she hadn't bothered to find out.

"It was a fling." Dex stared at the bare wall above Evan's head because  all that compassion was killing him. It wasn't fair that either of them  had to hurt so much that they fully understood each other's pain. "She  was always going to leave. Why am I so wound up about it?"

"Because you want something different," Evan suggested quietly.

Yeah, but what? For her to stay?

What did he have to offer Emma? Nothing. A fledgling business that  wouldn't see black for a long time, a fight with a billionaire over  Ilhota Rosa in his future, and a busted heart that had no concept of how  to treat a woman like Emma. And she deserved someone who had their crap  together, someone who could lay the world at her feet so she'd know  every moment how special she was. How she'd lifted the darkness inside  him for so many precious moments that he'd wanted to reciprocate. For  more than a few days.

She didn't seem all that interested in giving Dex a chance to work on that. Because it would be a work in progress.

"She was so nonchalant about getting on a plane. Like she was done here and happy about it," Dex said.

Of course she was. The words she'd said to her lunatic ex-fiancé, which  she'd repeated to him to make a point, had hit their mark. They were  relevant to Dex too. Maybe more so. We're not really right for each  other. We want different things, and I'm not in a good place to be this  serious. I'd rather end things now.

Her voice echoed in his head, convicting him. She didn't want anything  more than a vacation fling. Which was better. He shouldn't either.

"Did you tell her that you weren't done?" Evan asked and shifted his weight as if he couldn't find a comfortable stance.