Bidding on Her Boss(28)

Maybe tomorrow, or once she was packed and her flight was booked, she  would drop in to see him and try to explain. Maybe by then she'd have  found the words.

She pulled on some clothes and dragged the boxes she always kept on  standby out of the hall closet. It wouldn't take long-being wary of  putting down roots meant she liked to be ready to pick up and travel  when the need struck, so packing was easy.

She was on her living room floor, surrounded by sealed and half-packed  boxes, when Dylan returned. In one hand he held a takeout tray with two  coffees and a pastry bag, and in the other, a bunch of flowers. But his  expression...his expression was going to haunt her dreams.

* * *

Dylan froze on the threshold to Faith's apartment, feeling as if he'd been sucker punched.

When he'd woken this morning, he'd been so damn filled with love and  optimism, all he could think about was waking like this every morning.  Of spending the rest of his life with her. He'd slipped out without  waking her to hunt down the perfect engagement ring. He knew it couldn't  be a standard diamond for Faith, and he'd found a purple diamond in a  platinum setting in a window and convinced the owner to open early for  him.

He'd been on cloud nine, seeing a rosy future in front of them, seeing  everything he'd never known he wanted all wrapped up in one gorgeous  woman. Faith. Telling her he loved her last night had felt right, deep  in his soul. She might not have said the words back, but he was in no  doubt that she loved him. Not after the way she'd been touching him last  night.

He'd hoped she'd still be asleep when he got back with breakfast and  the ring, but it had taken a little longer than he'd planned. Still, the  last thing he'd expected to see was her getting ready to flee.

Again.

Especially after spending a night together that had rocked his world.  It was as if all the air in the room-in his life-had been sucked out,  leaving him in a vacuum.

"Going somewhere?" he asked mildly.

"Uh, yes."

He took a step inside but couldn't bring himself to sit down or even  cross the room. Not when she was surrounded by those damn packing boxes.  "You're taking the job, aren't you?"

"It's an incredible opportunity." Her voice was laced with guilt, and  she wouldn't meet his eyes. It seemed that they weren't on the same page  about this relationship at all.

"When did you decide?" he asked, not 100 percent sure he wanted to know  the answer. "Just now, or had you already made up your mind last  night?"

She was silent, which pretty much answered his question. He wanted to throw up.

"So you'd made up your mind and were obviously hoping to skip out this  morning while I wasn't looking. Were you planning on ever telling me? Or  perhaps the plan was a quick call from New York after you'd arrived?"

"I was definitely going to talk to you." She finally looked up and met  his gaze, and he could see that much was true. Shame about the rest.

"So," he said and drew in a breath, steeling himself, "telling you last night that I love you doesn't mean anything to you?"

"Of course it does, but love isn't enough, Dylan. It's not steadfast."  She moistened her lips, her beautiful brown eyes pained. "You have to  understand that my career is the only thing I've ever been able to count  on."                       
       
           



       

Suddenly Dylan was angry. She was giving up because she didn't think  she could count on them? On him? He dropped the flowers on the coffee  table and slid the takeout tray down beside the bouquet. Then he reached  into his pocket, found the little velvet box, held it up and opened it.

"How's this for steadfast?" he said, forcing each word out past a tight jaw. "I was willing to commit my life to you."

She flinched. "I'm sorry. But you say that now-"

"I said it last night, too," he pointed out, setting a clenched fist on his hip.

She brushed at a tear as it slid down her cheek. "Thing is, I believe  you. I promise I do. But once the novelty wears off, you'll be gone. It  was never going to last."

"Explain that to me," he said, not caring that his exasperation was  coming through in his tone. "Explain how you know what I'll do."

She collected her hair up in her hands, and then let it drop as she sat  back on her heels. "One thing I've learned is that love is fickle. All  my life I've seen the proof of people's attraction to the next bright,  shiny thing. I was never enough. My aunt who loved me for a year then  gave me up when she got pregnant. My mother who loved me but was always  leaving for the next big adventure. My grandparents who loved me but  were always relieved when someone else took me in. My father who loved  me but wouldn't arrange a job on land so I could live with him. You  might love me, Dylan," she said, her voice cracking on his name, "but  something else will come along, snag your attention and drag you away. I  will never allow myself to be in the position of thinking I'm not  enough again."

He'd known she had a rough childhood and that made trust difficult for  her, but he couldn't believe she thought their relationship wasn't worth  fighting for. Wasn't worth giving a chance. She didn't think he was  worth taking a risk on. Weariness suffused every cell in his body.

"You know, you say people leave, but you're the one leaving. It's  always you leaving, either sneaking out of my place after we make love,  or leaving early from the launch, or going to the flower market at two  in the morning."

Then he dropped the ring on the hall stand and glanced over his  shoulder. "Ever heard the phrase 'Be careful what you wish for'? You've  been expecting me to leave since day one, and here I go."

He walked out the door and across the small courtyard to his car without once looking back.





      Twelve

Faith sat on a plastic chair at the window of her tiny New York  apartment, chin in her hands as she looked down at the street below.  She'd been here for only two weeks, so it wasn't strange that it didn't  feel like home yet...though when had anyplace ever felt like home?

She loved the new job, but deep in her soul she'd been numb from the  moment she'd arrived. No, before. She'd always been alone, but this  loneliness was different-it was a yearning for one person. A tall,  flirtatious man with sparkling green eyes and hair like polished  mahogany.

Since she'd learned the hard lessons about life as a child, she'd  always been emotionally self-sufficient, but something had changed.  She'd developed relationships. She'd never let a person get as close to  her, under her guard, as Dylan had. But it wasn't just him-she'd become  friends with Jenna.

Jenna had called to congratulate her when she'd heard about the job,  and they'd kept in touch since she moved. They'd spent a lot of time  together while organizing the launch of the Ruby Iris, but at the time,  Faith had thought of them as colleagues working together. Now she  realized what Jenna had known then-they'd become friends.

Somewhere along the line, Faith had learned to believe in people again.

Desperate to hear a friendly voice, she picked up her cell and dialed Jenna's number.

Jenna picked up on the first ring, her lilting voice a little breathless. "Hi, Faith."

"Is this a bad time?" Faith asked. She was acutely aware that Jenna had two babies and her time was often not her own.

"Now is good. We're out back in the double stroller, walking along the  flower beds. As long as I keep pushing them, I can talk to you until  snack time."

Faith's mind drifted to when she'd worked on-site at the flower farm  and could wander along those same flower beds during her lunch break,  sometimes chatting with Jenna or carrying one of the babies on her hip.  "Give them both a cuddle from me when you get a chance."                       
       
           



       

"Will do. How are you?"

"It's all good here." Faith smiled as she said it, hoping it would make  her voice sound happy. "Just home from work and felt like a chat."

There was a pause. "Have you talked to Dylan lately?"

By an unspoken rule, they'd never spoken about Dylan, and Faith wasn't  sure how much Dylan had told his sister-in-law of what had happened  between them. "Um, no. I don't think we've had a chance to touch base  since I arrived."

"A chance to touch base? That sounds as if you're talking about an acquaintance."

"Dylan and I worked together," she said carefully.

Jenna laughed. "You're not honestly going to try to tell me that  nothing happened between you two. I haven't pushed you on it because I  realize things must have been messy, but I've never seen two people who  looked at each other the way you guys did. It was intense."