Beneath This Man (This Man Trilogy)(47)

I see John blow out an exasperated breath of air and look at Jesse for guidance, but he must decide that my wrath is the lesser of two evils because he starts transferring my things into the Range Rover. He can take my things. It doesn’t mean I’m going. I get in Kate’s van and throw myself back in the seat in total aggravation.

Within two seconds, the door is flung open. ‘Out!’ His voice is shaking with anger. I couldn’t give a toss.

I grab the handle to yank it shut, but he moves his body to block me. ‘Jesse. Just fuck off!’

‘Mouth!’

‘FUCK OFF!’ I scream. My throat is sore, my vocal cords pleading for some calmness. I’ve never shouted so much. I’m shaking, trembling with fury. How dare he? How dare he behave like this after everything I’ve been through with him.

‘Watch your fucking mouth!’ He leans in and grabs me.

I fight him off, but my strength compared to his is pathetic. He manhandles me out of Margo Junior and stands me with my back facing his front, while I persistently struggle to bat him away. He wraps an arm around my waist and lifts me clean from the ground, carrying me to his car while I kick and scream like a three year old.

‘Get off me!’

‘Shut your filthy mouth, Ava.’ he grates, which only assists in encouraging me to fight him some more.

I’m being manhandled in the middle of Notting Hill under the observation of my best mate, her boyfriend and John. I’m mortified! I can’t believe he has gone off the rails like this. I was handling it fine. I was on my way out, and then neurotic arse here rocked up and threw the shit right in the fan. I want to throw my head back and scream to the heavens.

I wriggle a little more and try and prize his arm from around my waist.

‘Stop making a scene, Ava.’ he warns.

Looking up, I see numerous bystanders halted in their daily business, all watching the dramatic happenings unfolding before their eyes. I give in with my struggle, but mainly because I’m thoroughly exhausted. I let him bundle me into his car, batting my arms at him when he tries to put the seatbelt on me.

He grabs my chin and tugs my face to his. ‘You had better stay fucking put!’ His green eyes are brimming with fury as I stare at him defiantly before pulling my face away. I sit in the warm, black leather trying to catch my breath.

I am not going to The Manor tomorrow night and I am going to the pub on Saturday. I’m also moving out of Lusso, not that I really moved in, although Jesse would completely disagree with that.

I see him walk back over to John, Kate and Sam. They’re talking, but I have no idea what about. Jesse’s head drops and I see Kate place a hand on his arm. It’s a reassuring gesture. She’s a fucking traitor! Why is he the one getting all of the sympathy and reassurance when I’m the one who’s just been abducted by a wild fucking maniac?

John shakes his head and clips the side of Jesse’s jaw with his knuckles, but Jesse pulls back from it harshly. I lip read John’s calm down and watch as Jesse walks away, throwing his arms in the air before yanking his dark blonde, disheveled hair in frustration. John shakes his head and this time I know he just said mother fucker.

Good! This is an indication that John agrees with me. Nasty qualities, I think John said. You don’t get much nastier than this. He’s completely lost the plot.

I look out of the passenger window when he climbs back in the car. I’m not talking to him. He’s gone too far this time. He starts the car and roars off down the road, flinging me back in my seat. His normal driving mood is frightening enough. I’m not looking forward to this journey.

‘How did you know I was here?’ I keep my eyes firmly on the view whizzing past my window.

I hear him wince as he takes a corner and out of my peripheral vision, I see him shake his hand. He’s upset it. ‘It doesn’t fucking matter.’

‘It does matter,’ I turn and look at his scowling profile. He’s still a handsome beast. ‘I was fine until you turned up.’ I accuse.

He whips his head around to face me. I meet his stare with the same fierceness he’s giving me. ‘I’m fucking infuriated with you. Did you kiss him?’

‘No!’ I shriek. ‘He tried and I beat him off. I was just leaving.’ My forehead muscles are aching from scowling so much.

I jump when he punches the steering wheel. ‘Don’t ever fucking tell me I’m possessive and over-the-top, do you hear me?’

‘You are stupidly possessive!’

‘Ava, in two days I’ve caught two men trying to get in your knickers. God knows about the times when I’ve not been there.’

‘Don’t be stupid,’ I scoff. ‘You’re imagining things.’ I’m fully aware that he’s not. He’s totally right, but what I want to know is why Mikael is suddenly interested in my relationship with Jesse. ‘How do you know Mikael?’

‘What?’ he snaps.

‘You heard me.’ I can tell by the disappearance of his bottom lip between his teeth that he’s thinking hard about this.

‘I bought the penthouse, Ava. How do you think I know him?’

‘He thought it was very interesting when I told him that we had been seeing each other for a month-ish. Why would he?’

His head whips around. ‘Why the fuck are you talking to him about us?’

‘I wasn’t, he asked the question and I answered! Why would he think it’s interesting, Jesse?’ I can feel myself losing control. I look away from him, trying to take some calming breaths.

‘That man wants you, trust me.’

‘Why?’ I shout, throwing my face in his direction again, but he refuses to look at me.

He punches the steering wheel again. ‘He wants to take you away from me.’

‘But why?’

‘He just fucking does!’ he roars.

I jump back in my seat, shocked and unsatisfied by his vague, furious answer. This conversation will get us nowhere. He needs to calm down and so do I. I’ll ask my questions when he’s not looking like he may put his fist through the window.



He pulls up outside Lusso and I exit the car before he turns the engine off. I notice John pull into the car park as I enter the foyer, and I completely ignore Clive as he comes out from behind his desk. I head straight for the elevator.

I expect Jesse to stop the doors from shutting so he can get in, but he doesn’t. He’s obviously concluded that we both need to calm down as well.

I exit the lift and fish my pink key from the side pocket of my bag to let myself in before I slam the door behind me and chuck my bag on the floor in a temper. ‘Fucking man!’ I curse to myself.

‘Hello.’ A small voice says.

I look up and see a grey haired, middle aged woman stood in front of me. I suppose I should be concerned by this strange woman in Jesse’s penthouse, but I’m too angry. ‘Who the hell are you?’ I blurt nastily. The woman recoils slightly and it’s then I clock the can of furniture polish and duster in her hand.

‘Cathy.’ she says. ‘I work for Jesse.’

‘What?’ I ask impatiently, but then the anger dominating my entire being gives way to allow that little piece of information to sink in – that and the furniture polish in her hand.

Oh shit!

The door opens behind me, and I turn to see Jesse walk in. He looks at me and then at the woman stood in front of us both. ‘Cathy, you should probably get off now. I’ll speak to you tomorrow.’ he says calmly, but I can still detect the anger in his voice.

‘Of course.’ She places her polish and duster on the side table and then takes her apron off, folding it hastily, but neatly. ‘I’ve put dinner in the oven. Give it thirty minutes.’ She picks up a carpet bag from the floor and stuffs her apron in the top. God bless her, she smiles at me before leaving. It’s more than I deserve. What a first impression to give.

Jesse gives her a peck on the cheek and a reassuring rub of the shoulder as she leaves. I watch her walk out into the foyer and see John and Clive transporting my bags from the elevator. That’s a waste of time because I’m not staying here. I stomp into the kitchen and yank the fridge open, hoping a bottle of wine might have magically found its way in there. I’m sorely disappointed.

Slamming the fridge door, I steam out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I can’t even look at him at the moment. As I enter the bedroom and slam yet another door, I stand and wonder…what now? I should just leave – give us both some space to calm down. This is too intense, too quickly. It’s poisonous, crippling.

I take myself into the vast bathroom and shut the door behind me. The surroundings of this whole penthouse are more familiar than they should be. After spending months designing and coordinating the works, I feel at home. I’m probably more at home than Jesse; he’s not even lived here for a month and one week of that was spent ridiculously drunk or unconscious.

I wander over to the chaise lounge in the window and gaze out across the docks. The people down below are going about their everyday business, strolling around or having an evening drink in the bars, all looking untroubled and relaxed. It’s probably not the case for all of them, but in my messed up state, I selfishly think that no one else could be as troubled as me. I’m head over heels in love with a man who has the most extreme temper and challenging ways. At the other end of the spectrum, though, he’s the most loving, sensitive, protective man in the universe. If John’s right, and he is only like this with me, should we be together? He’ll be dead by the time he’s forty from heart failure, and it will be my fault. With Jesse, when times are good, they are incredible, but when they are bad, they are unbearable.