Barbarian Lover(7)

Dear lord, that has to be the ‘spur’ Liz mentioned. I thought she was making fun of us.

Turns out, not so much.

I push the…thing…back toward him. “I can’t take this!”

For a moment, he looks crushed. His laughing smile disappears and his expression turns fierce. “Is it another? Has your heart already been claimed?”

I give my head a small shake. “What are you talking about?” I’m baffled. I push the dildo back toward him.

His brows draw together and his hands go to his hips. “Is this not an appropriate courting gift?”

“Humans don’t do courting gifts!”

“But Liz…” He breaks off as realization crosses his face.

“I am going to kill her,” I say grimly.

Instead of being angry, Aehako throws back his big, horned head and roars with laughter. He clutches his sides, incredibly amused. I’m glad one of us is having fun at this little joke. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do here. “Take this back,” I say, pushing it toward him.

He raises a hand and shakes his head, still chucking. “Ah no, it was meant for courting, and I do intend to court you, my sad-eyed human. Keep it.” His eyebrows wiggle. “Unless you would like to see the real thing?”

“I–what? No!” I sputter. “I don’t want to see your penis!”

“Are you sure? It’s quite a nice one. Look at how fine my gift is!” He gestures at the bone dildo. “I would give you much pleasure with it. I’m quite good in the furs.”

“I don’t want to hear about your sexual prowess,” I hiss. I wrap the thing in the leathers again because I’ll be damned if I’m going to wave a big dildo through the entire cavern, and he doesn’t seem to be taking it back.

“No?” He looks momentarily frustrated. “How do human men court the women they like, then?”

“Not with dildos. They give them flowers and chocolates and kisses and things.”

His arms cross over his chest. “I thought you said they did not give gifts.”

“Kisses are not gifts!”

“What are they?”

I blink at him, stumped. He doesn’t know what a kiss is? Is he joking?

“This is a trick, right?” I say, gazing at him suspiciously. “I’m supposed to tell you what a kiss is and then you insist on demonstrating and then the next thing I know, we’re playing tonsil hockey together.”

His brows furrow as I speak, and it’s clear he has no idea what I’m going on about. “Tonsil…hah-kee?”

“Stop it already.” I’m exasperated by both him and Liz, since they seem to be conspiring against me. “I can’t believe Liz would tell you about dildos and not kissing.”

“So they’re similar?” A speculative gleam enters his eyes.

“I’m done with this conversation.” I move away, edging closer to the bushes. “You should go.”

“Why is it so hard to believe that I wish to be with you, Kira?” He moves closer to me, ever determined, and his big hand touches my shoulder. It takes everything I have not to lean into that small touch. I’m so starved for love and affection that I don’t trust myself not to just fling my panties off simply because he represents some stability in this weird new life.

“Because we didn’t resonate to each other,” I say, tired. And we won’t, because my body won’t produce children, no matter how much I might want them. Or the guy standing next to me.

“Can we not take what pleasure that our bodies offer us?” He leans in closer, and I feel the heat of his body against mine even though I won’t look at him. “Can we not know the joy of touching another?”

“And then what?” I ask. “What happens when you resonate to someone else, or I do?”

He shrugs, his big body utterly casual. “Then life goes on and we celebrate the new union  .”

And no one has any hard feelings? I find that hard to believe, but I keep my thoughts to myself. No jealousy? No burning resentment? No envy that someone else gets your lover?

He might be able to turn his feelings off with a switch, but I know I’m not built like that. I know that when I commit, I’m going to want to actually commit. To have a relationship, not just a fuck-buddy. To be loved and love in return.

Unfortunately for me, all Aehako can offer is a fuck-buddy.

“Not interested,” I lie, and give him my best Serious-Kira-is-Serious face. “So you might as well give up now.”

He sighs and gives his big head a small shake. “We will talk again, Sad Eyes. I am not giving up on you even if you have given up on yourself.” He reaches out and brushes a finger over my cheek, then walks away.