Absolute Beginners(5)

“It couldn’t have been that much,” I said reluctantly as we switched places and Matt added more weight for his set.

“Are you kidding me? I know what she’s worn and how she’s done her hair for every single one of your classes. Not to mention all her winking and smiling at you.”

“You’re exaggerating.” I dismissed him. “What was she wearing on Friday?”

“Uh, a black-and-white checkered skirt and a T-shirt with a logo. Sounds like The Ramones, from the way you described it,” he said without hesitation.

That’s absolutely right. God, this is so messed up.

I didn’t say anything. What could I say?

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Just shut up or I’m going to drop this on you,” I muttered, handing him the bar.

He did his set while I stood there feeling perplexed. I hadn’t realized that I’d been complaining so much about Ms. Wilde. After we finished our sets, I didn’t feel like doing any more and we hit the showers.

“All kidding aside, Stephen, why haven’t you dated anyone in forever?” he asked me as we were dressing.

“I don’t know,” I lied. “I haven’t met anyone who held my interest.”

“Except for the girl you haven’t been able to shut up about for the past two months,” he interjected.

“Plus, I’m not very good at talking to women,” I added, ignoring his comment.

“Ain’t that the truth.”

I glanced at my stepbrother and he gave me a smile.

“I’m just kidding, Stevie. You’re not as bad as you think.”

Except I was. While I didn’t like to admit it, I couldn’t deny the facts. My dating life was practically nonexistent, and it always had been. At university, I was always studying, and since I didn’t participate in parties and such, I never spent much time with women. I had watched my peers socialize, and while I had wanted to join in, my shyness kept me back. I had nurtured the hope that the right woman would somehow just come along some day. Someone nice, whom I could easily talk to without feeling intimidated. Someone who would accept me, flaws and all.

Now I was thirty-three, and so far, it hadn’t happened. Maybe it never would. The few friends I had made in college and grad school were all in long-term relationships, most of them married with kids. I was the only one still on my own, and I was starting to worry I would always be alone.

“You want me to set you up?” Matt asked. “I know a lot of women who would love to go on a date with you.”

“Really?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“OK, so maybe not a lot. But I’m pretty sure I could wrestle one up for you. Someone nice and boring, just like you,” he said, as if that were a compliment.

“Do you really think I’m boring?”

“Yes,” he answered immediately.

“Wow, thanks for not sugar-coating it, Matt.”

“I’m sorry, Stevie, but just look at your life, man. You spend every night at home with your nose in a book, you haven’t gone on a date since JT brought sexy back, and you dress like a grandpa.”

Who’s JT? What’s sexy back? A grandpa?

I looked at my clothes and compared them to Matt’s. I was wearing khaki pants with a belt, a blue button-down shirt, a brown corduroy blazer, black leather shoes with laces, and, of course, my bowtie and glasses. My stepbrother was wearing some odd-looking sneakers, dark denim jeans, a plain white T-shirt and a leather jacket. Even I could acknowledge that there were differences, but I didn’t think that my clothes were that bad.

“Do I really dress like a grandpa?” I asked.

“A little,” Matt said. “Like your pants. What’s up with them?”

“Um, what’s wrong with them?”

“There’s nothing exactly wrong with them,” he said. “You just wear them a little too high and the belt is just…geriatric-looking. Why don’t you ever wear jeans?”

“I don’t know if I’d be comfortable wearing something so snug,” I admitted.

Matt shook his head in open disapproval. “What’s the point of working out three times a week if no one can see it?” he asked, flexing his bicep.

“Staying healthy. Regular exercise is the best way of maintaining a healthy cardiovascular system. You know my family history.”

Matt put his hand on my shoulder, giving me a little shake.

“Sorry, man, I know. But you’ve been to the doctor recently, right? Everything’s fine.”

Rubbing my hand across my chest, I nodded.

“You’re healthy as a horse,” he continued. “You can worry when you’re older. Right now, your main focus should be getting some p—”