A Husband's Regret (The Unwanted Series)(26)

"So you changed your clothes and we had a picnic in the conservatory. After dinner I told you I was pregnant and you . . ."

He swallowed painfully.

"I reacted in the worst possible way," he grated. "I told you to leave and you did."

"Wearing the same jeans and T-shirt that I'd been wearing all evening,"  she finished. His face contorted savagely, and he flung the dress aside  with a vicious curse. Bronwyn flinched at the sudden movement, unable to  gauge his mood, not sure if he believed her or not. He brushed past her  abruptly to slam his way into the en suite, and she was shocked to hear  the sound of violent retching coming from behind the closed door. She  hovered outside, unsure if she should venture in or wait for him to come  back out. She had just made up her mind to go in, when the ghastly  sounds stopped and she heard the toilet flush, followed by the sounds of  water running and gargling.

He opened the door slowly, and she found herself staring up at him  warily. He looked awful, hollow-eyed, hunted, and like he had aged ten  years in the last ten minutes. He couldn't quite bring himself to meet  her eyes.

"I . . ." he began. "I don't know . . ." He raised a violently trembling  hand toward her but checked the movement abruptly, his hand falling  limply back to his side.

"Bryce . . ." she murmured uncertainly, but he shook his head abruptly,  lifting his eyes to her face, and Bronwyn was horrified by the depth of  self-loathing she saw in his tortured gaze. It was mingled with  overwhelming regret and something akin to fear and desperation.

"God, how you must hate me," he murmured.

"I don't think . . ." But it was too late, he turned away before she  could say anything more and exited the room abruptly. Bronwyn felt  ridiculously deflated by the anticlimactic end to such an intense  conversation. That Bryce believed her was no longer in doubt, but he now  seemed wholly unable to deal with his own culpability in the failure of  their relationship.



"Don't bother finding Cooper," Bryce growled upon stepping out onto the  sunny patio where his brother, sister-in-law, and the two toddlers were  happily playing. They, all four, came to an abrupt halt at the sound of  his gruff voice. Lisa and Rick looked concerned, Rhys started crying,  and Kayla merely looked happy to see him, as always. While Lisa picked  Rhys up for a cuddle, Kayla babbled on incoherently but Bryce couldn't  focus and was unable to tell what the child was trying to communicate.  It was difficult enough to understand her under normal circumstances,  but the emotional turmoil he was in right now made it damned near  impossible to make out what she was trying to say to him. He nodded and  smiled blindly down at her, before switching his gaze to Rick.

"Why not?" his brother asked when their gazes met.

"She's telling the truth," Bryce bit off tautly, the knowledge still tearing him apart.

"How do you know?"

"A dress." Bryce shook his head in shattered disbelief. "I was so sure  of what I'd seen that night, I could remember every single detail of the  accident scene down to the dress she was wearing as she stood there  watching me scream her name." He fought back the urge to laugh like a  maniac, knowing that it would send him careening off the edge of reason.  "Only she wasn't wearing a dress the night she left me, Rick. I should  have known that because I now remember thinking how damned sexy she  looked in those jeans, just moments before everything went to hell. Not  the cocktail dress I'd been remembering her in for the last two years  but a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Oh God . . . oh my God!" He saw Rick  go pale and knew that he had to look equally pasty-faced. The younger  man blasphemed shakily.

"So now what, Bryce?"

Bryce shook his head helplessly at his brother's question.

"Now I give her everything she wants because that's the least of what she deserves."

"What if she wants a divorce?"

It was the one thing Bryce had been trying not to think about, and he flinched from the question.





  

"I wouldn't blame her." Bryce's eyes fell to his happily bubbling  daughter, who was trying to share her stuffed toys with a still-crying  Rhys. "But I'm not sure what I'll do if she asks for one."



Bronwyn came down about an hour later to find Rick and Lisa in the  conservatory with Kayla and Rhys. The children were playing together  contentedly. There was no sign of Bryce. Rick hopped to his feet  agitatedly when he saw her enter the room and immediately apologized.

"I was unforgivably rude and needlessly cruel, Bron," he muttered,  shoving his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. "I'm so sorry. I  know I hurt you, but . . . damn it, Bron, he's my brother and he was so  damaged and so completely changed by something we all thought was your  fault. It just felt like too large an obstacle to overcome!"

"Technically it was my fault," she pointed out grimly. "He came after me  that night, and if not for that he would not have had his accident."

"No, it was his fault and he admits as much. If he hadn't been such an  absolute bastard about your pregnancy, none of it would have happened.  I'm so sorry, Bronwyn."

"Ricky." She sighed wearily, not sure why she felt the need to comfort  him but wanting to set his mind at ease nonetheless. "You were being  loyal to your brother. It was his word against mine. You did what you  thought was right."

"What do you plan to do now?" Rick asked after an awkward pause. He was  unable to look her in the eye, and she knew how hard the truth must have  hit him. Knowing how unjustly he and Bryce had treated her would not  sit comfortably with someone who had such an innate sense of fairness.  She knew that it would eat at him for a while and that their  relationship might never go back to the way it was before.

"What do you mean?" she asked tiredly.

"Well, my brother is pretty torn up about this, Bron."

She laughed grimly at his words, cutting him off.

"Yes, and it's always about him isn't it?" she asked bitterly.

"No, it's just . . ." Rick trailed off awkwardly, not sure what to say. "Will you leave him?"

"He doesn't really want me, you know? He wants Kayla. I'm just excess baggage." She shrugged.

"He'll give you just about anything you ask for right now," Rick pointed out.

"Is that so? Well then, where is he? Maybe it's time I start making my demands. While his guilt lasts . . ."

"Bronwyn, you're being-" he began, but Lisa, who had been keeping the  children occupied, interrupted whatever he'd been about to say.

"Bryce is in his study," she informed quietly, absently picking Kayla up  and handing her over to Rick while she lifted Rhys into her arms.  Bronwyn nodded her thanks and dropped a loving kiss on her daughter's  head before turning on her heel and heading out of the room.



She didn't ring the doorbell; she wanted an honest reaction from him and  did not want to give him time to mask whatever he was feeling. So she  strode in confidently and then halted before she'd gotten more than two  steps into the room, suddenly unsure of her decision.

He sat behind his huge desk, with his head in his hands in almost  exactly the same pose as the day before but he looked so incredibly lost  and alone that, for a moment, she was unsure of what her next move  should be. He must have sensed her presence because he looked up  unexpectedly, pinning her to the spot with his tormented gaze. It said a  lot for the changed status of their relationship that he did not  immediately fly off the handle because of her supposed "intrusion" into  his lair.

"I can't fix this," he admitted bleakly. His voice was quivering in a  way that would have killed his pride if he had been able to hear it. "I  don't know how to." He looked strangely defenseless with his messy hair  and his disheveled clothing, but she steeled herself against his  vulnerability. While she was happy that he now knew the truth, the  simple fact of the matter was that she couldn't trust him with her  heart. It had never been safe with him, but she hadn't known it until he  had so ruthlessly rejected her two years ago. Yes, he was now filled  with regret about the mistake he had made immediately following his  accident, but he still had no explanations or apologies for the behavior  that had driven her out in the first place.

She did not know what to say to him, did not know what she wanted from  him anymore. Just the day before she had idealistically and  unrealistically imagined that if they tried to get along, their  relationship would improve and they could build on that. Of course, they  both had Kayla's best interests at heart and wanted to provide  stability for her, but Bronwyn deserved better than a second-rate  marriage, with them staying together only for the sake of their  daughter. Right now Bronwyn also honestly believed that Kayla would be  better off if their marriage was severed sooner rather than later. It  was better than raising their baby in an atmosphere of mistrust.