A Fistfull of Charms(42)

“They can’t,” he said. “She’s lying so she can put a black spell on us.”
“I can Were,” I said, letting my second sight fade. “It’s a ley line, ah, charm, and if I had wanted to put a spell on you, I would have done it already. I’m a white witch.” My stomach hurt and I had to go to the bathroom. Oh God. I was a white witch, but it was a black curse. I had sworn I wouldn’t, and here I was, jumping head first into the hole. It didn’t matter that the black was negligible. It was going to be on my soul. What in hell was I doing here?
Walter looked at the crowd when a few called to get on with it. “Pam?” he asked, and the slight woman beamed, playing up to them.
“Challenger’s choice,” she said, and the assembled Weres cheered.
Walter nodded. “Your choice,” he said to me. “Do you want to start on two feet, making part of the contest how fast you can Were, or do you want to Were and then begin?”
“I know what challenger’s choice is,” I said snottily. “I have done this before. And this isn’t legal. My alpha isn’t here, and there aren’t six other alphas to adjudicate in his absence.”
Walter’s face showed shock for an instant, then he hid it. “We have six alphas,” he said.
“She doesn’t count!” I said, pointing, but all they did was laugh at me. Like I really thought they would do this by the book?
“We start from four legs,” I said softly, knowing she was going to Were fast anyway, so I might as well have a chance to catch my breath before we got on with it.
The crowd liked that, and Pam nonchalantly undid the tie to her robe, letting it slip from her to pool at her feet and leave her stark naked. She looked like a goddess with her perfect tan, standing with one foot slightly before the other. Even her stretch marks added to her image of proud survivor. The noise of the crowd never changed or acknowledged her new, ah, look.
I flushed, dropping my gaze. God help me, I wasn’t going to do the same. Jenks’s clothes had vanished with even his scars when he turned. I expected it would be the same for me, and I wouldn’t show up as a wolf in black tights and a lacy pair of underwear—as amusing as that would be. No way was I going to show them I was a nasty pasty color with freckles.
A shiver of adrenaline went through me. That, the crowd responded to, and I watched a visiting alpha bring her a sheaf of pungent wolf ’s bane. A murmur of approval rose when she curtly refused. No one offered me any. Bitches. Not that it would have helped. 
Pam closed her eyes, and my lips parted as she started to change. I’d only seen Hollywood’s version, and by God, they had it right. Her features molded, elongating in the face and thinning in the arms and legs in a gross caricature of human and wolf. I had no idea where she was getting the power to shift since Weres couldn’t, and didn’t, use ley lines to Were like werefoxes did, which was why they could control their size, a talent werewolves envied.
Pam collapsed to her—I guess they were almost haunches now—and propped herself up with her emancipated arms. Her entire skin flashed to black and silky fur appeared. A whine came from her, and her eyes flashed open, still human and grotesque. Her face was ugly, with a long muzzle still holding human teeth. She was neither wolf nor human, caught in the middle and completely helpless. And damn, it was fast!
“Rache!” Jenks shouted. “Do something!”
I looked across the cheering Weres to him as Pam fell over into a stiff-legged posture, shaking as her insides rearranged. Oh yeah. Heart pounding, I shut my eyes. Immediately the smell of rising musk and the stink of my own sweat struck me. Over it was the smell of maggot-infested flesh from the as yet unseen pit. I didn’t think there was anyone still alive in it, but I couldn’t tell for sure. The sound of the crowd beat on me, the waves of force coming off them distracting. I put my hands together over my chi and hoped it wasn’t going to hurt too badly.
“Lupus,” I breathed, my eyelashes fluttering.
I took a breath, eyes flashing open when the ever-after unrolled from my thoughts. Like a scab peeling away, it had a delicious painfulness, a feeling of returning to an earlier state. A sheet of black-stained ever-after filmed me, and I couldn’t see clearly. My hearing was gone, wrapped in a muzzy blanket.
My balance shifted and my knees and hands hit the earth, almost seeming to sink. I threw my head back and gasped at the feeling of electricity stacking me differently. But it didn’t hurt as the earth charm had when I turned into a mink. This wasn’t a cobbling together of parts and pieces, but a pulse of growth from atoms to memories, natural and painless as breathing. I was alive, as if every nerve was feeling for the first time, as if the blood moved for the first time. I was alive. I was here. It was exhilarating.
Head up, I laughed, letting it spill from me, a chortling chuckle, that expanded into a howl. The black ever-after dropped from me and my hearing exploded into existence, filling my ears with the sound of me. I was alive, damn it, not just existing, and everyone would know.
My exuberant howl rose, silencing everyone. In the distance there was an answer. I recognized it. It was Aretha, the wolf we’d met when we first came on the island. She met my voice with her own, telling me she was alive too.
And then the price for me breaking the laws of nature hit me. My voice cut off in a strangled gurgle. Unable to breathe, I fell, clawing at my new muzzle with dull nails. Panicking, I felt the crushing weight of black soak in. I shuddered, and my eye stung as I forgot to close them and I rubbed my face into the earth. Tighter, the band of blackness clenched around my soul.
No! I thought, seeing the gray of unconsciousness tingle at the edge of my sight. I would survive. I wouldn’t let it kill me. I could take this. Ceri had, and a thousand times worse. I could do this. But it hurt. It hurt like shame and despair made real.
My will rose, accepting what I had done. Panting, I forced my tongue into my mouth. There was dirt on it, and my teeth were gritty. Shaken, I lay and did nothing, content to feel my lungs work. Everything was in black and white except for the last few feet. I could see color if it was close enough. And as my eyes took in the world while I figured out how to get up, my mind started inventing colors until it seemed natural. The sounds, too, were alien. Piecing them together was beyond me, and what I couldn’t decipher retreated into a background hiss.“Rache!” Jenks shouted, and I winced when my ears flicked backward. Appalled, I felt my tail thump. This is pathetic. I held my breath to get up when I found I wasn’t coordinated enough to do both at the same time, yet. Frustrated, I staggered to my feet, feeling the new way my muscles worked and nearly falling again.
Pam was still sprawled on the earth, panting as she finished changing. She had to be close; Karen had Wered in about thirty seconds. It was about that now. The scent of ash and decayed flesh was choking. Under it I could smell the packs about me like fingerprints, the scent of gunpowder on some, the stink of grease on others, mild, expensive fragrance on the rest. Pam was a weird mix, her alienness of being part human and part wolf like the taste of rotten eggs in my nose and on my tongue.
I sneezed, just about going over. The crowd gasped, and I suddenly realized they were silent, watching me in a mix of shock and awe. So I had Wered? So what? I had said I could.
“She’s red!” someone whispered.
Surprised, I looked at what I could see of myself. Holy crap, I was! I was a freaking red wolf, with softly waving red fur that turned black about my feet. Hey, I was pretty!
On all fours, I swung my head up to Jenks. His eyes flicked to mine, then out again, telling me to pay attention to what was going on. “She’s a red wolf,” someone in baggy pants said, shaking his neighbor’s arm. “She Wered perfectly.” His voice grew in awe. “Look at her! She’s a fucking red wolf!”
The murmur was lifted up and repeated, and if a wolf could flush, I did. What did it matter what color I was? All I had to do was pin Pam.
As if hearing my thoughts, Pam surged to her feet in a splurge of motion. She was huge, having retained all her human mass. Lips curling from her long muzzle, she let a soft growl slip from her, her brown eyes fixed on me. My pulse surged and my hind foot slipped back. The crowd cheered at that, hurting my ears. Pam’s growl continued, promising me pain. Walter would probably try to stop her from killing me until I gave them the information they wanted, but I doubted he was going to be successful.
“Take your best shot,” I barked, and she lunged, the packed dirt spurting out behind her.
Pam’s rumble turned aggressive as she halved the distance between us. My thoughts lit on Karen, her jaws around my neck and my crippling fear. But then I saw the pride in her eyes, and something snapped. Under the fur and lean muscle, she was intelligent, and with that comes a knowledge of pain—even if she wouldn’t feel it.
I forced my muscles to bunch and darted forward, silent and low to the ground.
We met in a confusion of snapping teeth and stumbling paws. She hadn’t expected this, and her reach for my throat landed on my hindquarters. She twisted for my neck, forefeet almost on me. Belly on the ground, I ducked under her and found something to bite. It was a narrow leg of fur and bone. I bit down hard. I would not die here because of another woman’s pride.